That I crave death more willingly than mercy; Re-enter Provost, BARNARDINE, CLAUDIO, and Duke. Which is that Barnardine? Prov. This is another prisoner, that I sav'd, [Unmuffles CLAUDIO, Duke. If he be like your brother, [To ISABELLA.] for his sake Is he pardon'd; and for your lovely sake, to the trick: If you will hang me for it, you may Duke. Whipp'd first, sir, and hang'd after.- Lucio. I beseech your highness, do not marry me to a whore. Your highness said even now, I made you a duke; good my lord, do not recompense me, in making me a cuckold. Duke. Upon mine honor, thou shalt marry her. death, whipping, and hanging. Duke Sland'ring a prince deserves it.— I have confess'd her, and I know her virtue.- Look that you love your wife; her worth, worth Forgive him, Angelo, that brought you home yours. I find an apt remission in myself: And yet here's one in place I cannot pardon: One all of luxury, an ass, a madman: Lucio. Faith, toy lord, I spoke it but according 4 The head of Ragozine for Claudio's; Thoughtless practice. SCENE I-Before Leonato's House. Enter LEONATO, HERO, BEATRICE, and others. with a Messenger. Leonato. I learn in this letter, that don Pedro of Arragon comes this night to Messina. Mess. He is very near by this; he was not three leagues off, when I left him. Lem. How many gentlemen have you lost in this action! Mess. But few of any sort, and none of name. Lon. A victory is twice itself, when the achiever brings home full numbers. I find here that don Pedro hath bestowed much honor on a young Florentine, called Claudio. Ms. Much deserved on his part, and equally remembered by don Pedro: He hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age; doing, in the figure fa lamb, the feats of a lion: he hath, indeed, bette bettered expectation, than you must expect of to tell you how. Lem. He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much glad of it. there Me. I have already delivered him letters, and appears much joy in him; even so much, that y could not show itself modest enough, without abadze of bitterness. n. Did he break out into tears? Yes. In great measure. Lon. A kind overflow of kindness: There are faces truer than those that are so washed. How both better is it to weep at joy, than to joy at werping! Bent. I pray you, is signior Montanto returned from the wars, or no? Mese. I know none of that name, lady; there challenged Cupid at the flight: and my uncle's fool, reading the challenge, subscribed for cupid, and challenged him at the bird-bolt.-I pray you, how many hath he killed and eaten in these wars? But how many hath he killed? for, indeed, I promised to eat all of his killing. Leon. Faith, niece, you tax signior Benedick too much; but he'll be meet with you, I doubt it not. Mess. He hath done good service, lady, in these wars. Beat. You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it: he is a very valuable trencher-man, he hath an excellent stomach. Mess. And a good soldier too, lady. Beat. And a good soldier to a lady:- But what is he to a lord? Mess. A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuffed with all honorable virtues. Beat. It is so, indeed; he is no less than a stuffed man: but for the stuffing,-Well, we are all mortal. Leon. You must not, sir, mistake my niece: there is a kind of merry war betwixt signior Benedick and her: they never meet, but there is a skirmish of wit between them. Beat. Alas, he gets nothing by that. In our last conflict, four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one: so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse: for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasonable creature.-Who is his companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother. Mess. He is ra st in the company of the right noole Claudio. Beat. O lord! he will hang upon him like a disease: he is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! if he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand pound ere he be cured. Mess. I will hold friends with you, lady. Beat. Do, good friend. Leon. You will never run mad, niece. Enter Don PEDRO attended by BALTHAZAR and others, Don JOHN, CLAUDIO, and BENEDICK. D. Pedro Good signior Leonato, you are come to meet your trouble: the fashion of the world is to avoid cost, and you encounter it. Leon. Never came trouble into my house in the likeness of your grace: for trouble being gone, comfort should remain: but, when you depart from me, sorrow abides, and happiness takes his leave. D. Pedro. You embrace your charge too willingly. I think, this is your daughter. Leon. Her mother hath many times told me so. Bene. Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her? Leon. Signior Benedick, no; for then were you a child. D. Pedro. You have it full, Benedick: we may guess by this what you are, being a man. Truly, the lady fathers herself: Be happy, lady! for you are like an honorable father. Bene. If signior Leonato be her father, she would not have his head on her shoulders, for all Messina, as like him as she is. Beat. I wonder that you will still be talking, signior Benedick; no body marks you. Bene. What my dear lady Disdain! are you yet living? Beut. Is it possible, disdain should die, while she hath such meet food to feed it, as signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come in her presence. Bene. Then is courtesy a turn-coat :- But it is certain, I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart; for, truly, I love none. Beat. A dear happiness to women; they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God, and my cold blood, I am of your humor for that; I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. Bene. God keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some gentleman or other shall 'scape a predesti nate scratched face. Beat. Scratching could not make it worse, an 'twere such a face as yours were. Bene. Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher. of yours. Bene. I would my horse had the speed of your tongue; and so good a continuer: But keep your way o' God's name; I have done. Beat. You always end with a jade's trick; I know you of old. D..Pedro. This is the sum of all: Don John, signior Claudio, and signior Benedick, my dear friend Leonato hath invited you all. I tell him, we shall stay here at the least a month; and he heartily prays, some occasion may detain us longer: I dare swear he is no hypocrite, but prays from his heart. Leon. If you swear, my lord, you shall not be forsworn: --Let me bid you welcome, my lord: being reconciled to the prince your brother, I owe you all duty. D. John. I thank you: I am not of many words, but I thank you. Leon. Please it your grace lead on? D. Pedro. Your hand, Leonato: we will go together. [Exeunt all but BENEDICK and CLAUDIO. Claud. Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of signior Leonato? Bene. I noted her not; but I looked on her. Claud. Is she not a modest young lady? Bene. Do you question me, as an honest man should do, for my simple true judgment; or would you have me speak after my custom, as being a professed tyrant to their sex? Claud. No, I pray thee, speak in sober judgment. Bene. Why, i'faith, methinks she is too low for a high praise, too brown for a fair praise, and toe little for a great praise: only this commendation I can afford her; that were she other than she is, she were unhandsome; and being no other but as she is, do not like her. Claud. Thou thinkest I am in sport; I pray thee, tell me truly how thou likest her. Bene. Would you buy her, that you inquire af ter her! Claud. Can the world buy such a jewel? Bene. Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this with a sad brow? or do you play the nout ing Jack; to tell us Cupid is a good hare-finder, and Vulcan a rare carpenter? Come, in what hey shall a man take you, to go in the song? Claud. In mine eye, she is the sweetest lady that ever I look'd on. Bene. I can see yet without spectacles, and I see no such matter: there's her cousin, an she were not possessed with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty, as the first of May doth the last of December. But I hope you have no intent to turn husband; have you! Claud. I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the contrary, if Hero would be my wife. Bene. Is it come to this, i'faith? Hath not the world one man, but he will wear his cap with sus picion Shall I never see a bachelor of three-score again? Go to, i'faith; an thou wilt needs thrust thy neck into a yoke, wear the print of it, and sh away Sundays. Look, don Pedro is returned to seek you. Re-enter Don PEDRO. D. Pedro. What secret hath held you here, that you followed not to Leonato's? Bene. I would your grace woul! constra n me to tell. D. Pedro. I charge thee, on thy allegiance. Bene. You hear, count Claudio: I can be secret as a dumb man, I would have you think so; but on my allegiance,- mark you this, on my allegiance: He is in love. With who?-now that is your grace's part.-Mark, how short his answer is: With Hero, Leonato's short daughter. Claud. If this were so, so were it uttered. Bene. Like the old tale, my lord: it is not so. nor 'twas not so; but, indeed, God forbid it should be so. forbid it should be otherwise. Claud. If my passion change not shortly, God D. Pedro. Amen, if you love her; for the lady is very well worthy. Claud. You speak this to fetch me in, my lord. D. Pedro. By my troth, I speak my thought. Claud. And, in faith, my lord, I spoke mine. Bene. And, by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I spoke mine. Claud. That I love her, I feel. D. Pedro. That she is worthy, I know. Bene. That I neither feel how she should be loved, nor know how she should be worthy, is the opinion that fire cannot melt out of me; I will die in it at the stake. in the despite of beauty. D. Pedro. Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic Claud. And never could maintain his part, but in the force of his will. Bene. That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me up. I likewise give her most humble thanks: but that I will have a recheat winded in my forehead, or hang my bugle in an invisible baldric, all women shall pardon me. Because I will not do them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the right to trust none; and the fine is, (for the which I may go the finer,) I will live a bachelor. D. Pedro. I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love. Bene. With anger, with sickness, or with hunger. my lord! not with love: prove, that ever I lose more blood with love, than I will get again with drinking, pick out mine eyes with a ballad-maker's pen and hang me up at the door of a brothel-house, for the sign of blind Cupid. D. Pedro. Well, if ever thoa dost fall from this faith, thou wilt prove a notable argument. The tune sounded to call off the dogs. Bene. If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat, and shoot at me; and he that hit's me, let him be capped on the shoulder, and called Adain.s D. Pedro. Well, as time shall try: la time the savage bull doth bear the yoke. Bene. The savage bull may; but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's horns, and set them in my forehead: and let me be vilely paintet; and in such great letters as they write. Here is good horse to hire, let them signify under my sign, Here you may see Bene tick, the married man. Claud. If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad. D. Pedro Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly. Bene. I look for an earthquake too then. D. Pedro. Well, you will temporize with the hours. In the meantime, good signior Benedick, repair to Leunato's; commend me to him, and tell him, I will not fail him at supper; for, indeed, he hath made great preparation. Bene. I have almost matter enough in me for such an embassage; and so I commit you Caned. To the tuition of God: From my house, ifl bad it.) D. Pedro. The sixth of July: Your loving friend, Benedick. Bene. Nay, mock not, mock not: The body of your discourse is sometime guarded with fragments, and the guards are but slightly basted on neither; ere you dout old ends any further, examine your Conscience; and so I leave you. [Exit BENEDICK. Claud. My lege, your highness now may do me good. D. Pedro. My love is thine to teach; teach it And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn alley in my orchard, were thus much overheard by a man of nine: The prince discovered to Claudio, that he loved my niece your daughter, and mean, to acknowledge it this night in a dance; and, if he found her accordant, he meant to take the present time by the top, and instantly break with you of it. Leon. Hath the fellow any wit, that told you this! Ant. A good sharp fellow; I will send for him. and question him yourself. Leon. No, no; we will hold it as a dream, till it SCENE III.-Another Room in Leonato's House. Con. What the goujere, my lord! why are you thus out of measure sad? D. John. There is no measure in the occasion that breeds it, therefore the sadness is without limit. Con. You should hear reason. D. John. And when I have heard it, what blessing bringeth it? Con. If not a present remedy, yet a patient sufferance. D. John. I wonder that thou being (as thou say'st thou art) born under saturn, goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief. I cannot hide what I an: I must be sad when I have cause, and smile at no man's jests; eat when I have stomach, and wait for no man's leisure; sleep when I am drowsy, and tend to no man's business: laugh when I am merry, and claw no man in his D. Pedro. No child but Hero, she's his only heir; humor. Dost thou affect her, Claudio? Claud. O my lord, When you went onward on this ended action, I look d upon her with a soldier's eye, Cand. How sweetly do you minister to love, The fairest grant is the necessity: Look, what will serve, is fit: 'tis once, thou lov'st; I DOA, we shall have revelling to-night; [Exeunt. SCENE II-A Room in Leonato's House. Enter LEONATO and ANTONIO. Lem. How now, brother? Where is my cousin, your son! Hath he provided this music? Ant. He is very busy about it. But, brother, I ante you strange news that you yet dreamed Con. Yea, but you must not make the full show of this, till you may do it without controlment. You have of late stood out against your brother, and he hath ta'en you newly into his grace; where it s impossible you should take true root, but by the fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest. D. John. I had rather be a canker in a hedge, than a rose in his grace; and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all, than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any: in this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied that I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle, and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage: If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking; in the mean time, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. Con. Can you make no use of your discontent? D. John. I make all use of it, for I use it only. Who comes here? What news Borachio? Enter BORACHIO. Bora. I came yonder from a great supper; the prince, your brother, is royally entertained by Leonato; and I can give you intelligence of an intended marriage. D. John. Will it serve for any model to build mischief on? What is he for a fool, that betroths himself to unquietness? Bora. Marry, it is your brother's right hand. D. John. A proper squire! And who, and who? which way looks he? Bora. Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato. D. John. A very forward March-chick! How came you to this? Bora. Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was smoking a musty room, comes me the prince and Claudio, hand in hand, in sad conference: I whipt me behind the arras; and there heard it agreed upon, that the prince should woo Hero for himself, and having obtained her, give her to count Claudio. D. John. Come, come, let us thither; this may prove food to my displeasure; that young start-up hath all the glory of my overthrow; if I can cross The veneral disease. • Flatter. him any way I bless myself every way: You are is the greater, that I am subdued: Would the cook boh sure, and will assist me? were of my mind!-Shall we go prove what's to be Con. To the death, my lord. done? D. John. Let us to the great supper; their cheer Bora. We'll wait upon your lordship. [Exeunt. ACT II. SCENE I-A Hall in Leonato's House. Scotch jig, a measure, and cinque-pace: the first suit is hot and hasty, like a Scotch jig, and full as Enter LEONATO, ANTONIO, HERO, BEATRICE, and fantastical; the wedding, mannerly-modest, as a others. Leon. Was not count John here at supper? Beat. How tartly that gentleman looks! I never can see him, but I am heart-burned an hour after, Hero. He is of a very melancholy disposition. Beut. He were an excellent man, that were made just in the mid-way between him and Benedick: the one is too like an image, and says nothing; and the other, too like my lady's eldest son, evermore tattling. Leon. Then half signior Benedick's tongue in count John's mouth, and half count John's melancholy in signior Benedick's face, Beat. With a good leg, and a good foot, uncle, and money enough in his purse, such a man would win any woman in the world,-if he could get her good will. Leon. By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a husband, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue. Ant. In faith, she is too curst. Beat. Too curst is more than curst: I shall lesson God's sending that way; for it is said, God sends a curst cow short horns; but to a cow too curst he sends none. Leon. So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns. Beat. Just, if he send me no husband: for the which blessing, I am at him upon my knees every morning and evening; Lord! I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face; 1 had rather lie in the woollen. Leon. You may light upon a husband mat hath no beard. Beat. What should I do with him? dress him in my apparel, and make him my waiting gentlewoman? He that hath a beard, is more than a youth; and he that hath no beard, is less than a man: and he that is more than a youth is not for me; and he that is less than a man, I am not for him. Therefore, I will even take sixpence in earnest of the bear-herd and lead his apes into hell. Leon. Well then, go you into hell? Beat. No; but to the gate; and there will the devil meet me, like an old cuckold, with horns on his head, and say, Get you to heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven; here's no place for you maids: so deliver I up my apes, and away to Saint Peter for the heavens; he shows me where the bachelors sit, and there live we as merry as the day is long. Ant. Well, niece, To HERO.] I trust you will be ruled by your father. Beat. Yes, it is my cousin's duty to make courtesy. and say, Father, as it please you:-but yet for all that, cousin, let him be a handsome fellow, or else make another, courtesy, and say, Father, as it please measure full of state and ancientry; and then comes repentance, and, with his bad legs, falls into the cinque-pace faster and faster, till he sink into his grave. Leon. Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly. Beat. I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a church by day-light. Leon. The revellers are entering; brother, make good room. Enter Don PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, BAL THAZAR, Don JOHN, BORACHIO, MARGARET URSULA, and others, masked. D. Pedro. Lady, will you walk about with your friend? Hero. So you walk softly, and look sweetly, and say nothing, I am yours for the walk: and, spe cially, when I walk away. D. Pedro. With me in your company? Hero. I may say so when I please. D. Pedro. And when please you to say so? Hero. When I like your favor; for God defend, the lute should be like the case! D. Pedro My visor is Philemon's roof; within the house is Jove. I Hero. Why, then your visor should be thatch'd. D. Pedro. Speak low, if you speak love. Takes her aside. Bene. Well, I would you did like me. Marg. So would not I, for your own sake; for have many ill qualities. Bene. Which is one! 1 Marg. I say my prayers aloud. Bene. I love you the better; the hearers may cry Amen. Marg. God match me with a good dancer! Marg. And God keep him out of my sight, when the dance is done!-Answer, clerk. Balth. No more words; the clerk is answered. Urs. I know you well enough; you are signior Antonio. Ant. At a word, I am not. Urs. I know you by the waggling of your head, Ant. To tell you true, I counterfeit him. Urs. You could never do him so ill-well, unless you were the very man: Here's his dry hand up and down; you are he, you are he, Ant. At a word, am not. Urs. Come, come; do you think I do not know you by your excellent wit? Can virtue hide itself? Go to, mum, you are he: graces will appear, and there's an end. Beat. Will you not tell me who told you so? Bene. No, you shall pardon me. Beat. Nor will you not tell me who you are? Bene. Not now. Brut. That I was disdainful,-and that I had my good wit out of the Hundred Merry Tales;--Well, this was signior Benedick that said so. Bene. What's he? Beat. I am sure, you know him well enough. Beat. Did he never make you laugh? Beat. Why, he is the prince's jester: a very dull fool; only his gift is in devising impossible slanders: none but libertines delight in him; and the commendation is not in his wit, but in his villany; for he both pleaseth men, and angers them, and then they laugh at him, and beat him: I am sure, he is it. the fleet; I would he had boarded me. Bene. When I know the gentleman, I'll tell hiru what you say. 2 Accosted |