VI.

OXFORD AND CAMBRIDGE CLUB,

FRIDAY, Feb. 11, 1859.

4.10 P.M.

M.P. in the Library, reading a volume of SWIFT'S Works.

A PROPOSAL

FOR AN

66

ACT OF PARLIAMENT,

"To pay off the Debt of the Nation without taxing the subject;

"By which the number of landed Gentry and substantial "Farmers will be considerably increased, and no person will be "the poorer, or contribute one farthing to the charge.

"Of this sum I propose that out of the one half, which "amounts to £1,214,400, so much be applied as will entirely "discharge the debts of the nation; and the remainder be laid up "in the Treasury, to supply contingences, as well as to discharge some of our heavy taxes, until the kingdom shall be in a better "condition.

"As to the purchasers, they will probably be tenants to the "See who are already in possession, and can afford to give more "than any other bidder.

"I cannot but be confident, that their graces my lords the "archbishops, and my lords the bishops, will heartily join this "proposal.... whereby they will be instrumental towards paying the nation's debts without impoverishing themselves...."

66

Canon comes behind him and looks over.

Can. M.P. a present for you!

M.P. Ha! Canon! Convocation over? What have you brought me! ORATIO HABITA IN CAMERA HIEROSOLYMITANA A GEORGIO PEACOCK-my old Tutor's Oratio Prolocutoria'; thank you very much; but I wish it was in English.

Can. It's very easy; quite a plain style, suited for business.

*

*

*

M.P. Rather strong here, I see; he says, we ought not to have divided Dioceses, and suspended Canonries, without the sanction of Convocation: "Ha leges, quamvis ex Regiorum Delegatorum relatione (Commissioners' Reports, I suppose) profluxerint, tamen legitima Ecclesiæ ipsius auctoritate, qua sanciri debuere, prorsus caruerunt. That's rather strong language.

Can. It may seem so to you; but if you look back and see how legislation was carried on formerly, perhaps you would see reason to change your mind. And I think you must allow, that regulations on Church subjects would be more fully discussed by us than they can be in your House; and that when you come to make them into laws, they would have all the more weight, if you could say, as is said in many of our old Acts, "with the consent of the Clergy in their Convocations."

M.P. Well! I'll say no more till I have read the whole. But look what I've been reading; Dean Swift's Enfranchisement Scheme!

Can. How do you like it?

M.P. Why! I'm rather puzzled. He seems to go a great

1 Published by Bell and Daldy, London; Deightons, Cambridge.

Ideal farther than we do. He is for selling the reversions altogether to the lessees, or others, leaving to the bishops only the reserved rents, with no fines; and the surplus of the purchasemoney (after providing for the present bishops' fines) to go to public purposes, and pay off the National Debt!

Can. Are you surprised at that?

M.P. Indeed I am. I never heard of any Churchman proposing such a scheme. I remember reading (in Pepys' Diary,

I think) of a scheme devised by some courtier, for taking the Church-lands, to pay off King Charles II.'s debts; but it was abandoned, because the lands being let on long leases, there was not much to be got from them. But that such a proposal as this should come from a Dean! does surprise me very much.

Can. Oh! M.P. you say I'm so simple; what shall I call you? You're just like the Irish Bishop, who said he had been very much pleased with Gulliver's Travels, but "the book contained some things he could not believe." Did you never hear of such a thing as Irony?

M.P. Oh! you think it's all ironical? But what was the occasion of it? I don't see the wit.

Can. Why, I believe the Dean was very much offended at two Bills brought by the Bishops into the Irish Parliament', which he thought injurious to the Clergy, both as to their liberty and their revenues: and I take it this piece of irony was by way of revenge.

M.P. Were the Bills thrown out?

Can. Yes! like your E. C. Bill of last year.

M.P. Not thrown out; only withdrawn; sometimes, you know, il faut reculer, pour mieux sauter.

Now, Canon, (rising to go) in return for your present, I've something to shew you-the new Commission Buildings in WhiteHall Place.

Can. No! I'm much obliged to you; I really have no wish just now. I have great reason to fear that office has had a hand in the new Bill, as it had in the last.

In the year 1731.

M.P. Have you heard anything about it?

Can. Yes; the Home Secretary kindly sent for me to come and see him, and he has told me the main points of the Bill. He says the compulsory transfer of Estates to the Commissioners is expunged; but he cannot give up the termination of Leases in 1880.

M.P. Well! how can you object to that?

Can. Because I see plainly that involves the very same trans fer of our whole property, only a little more suaviter in modo. I asked, 'How are we to have any incomes if there are to be no more fines after 1859?' Home Sec. 'Of course the Commissioners will give you compensation.' Can. And how will they be reimbursed?' Home Sec. 'They will take the Estate, on account of which you receive compensation.' There it is-res eodem redit-the Estates will all go over to the Commissioners in seven years or less -omnia te advorsum spectantia. We shall be 'blandly absorbed.' M.P. But of course there will be a clause for restoration of a portion to you?

Can. I know nothing about that. So I have presented my gravamen in Convocation, as you advised; to this effect:

Other bodies are reformed and strengthened;

Cathedrals are spoiled and weakened.

You must not wonder at my declining to go into White-Hall Place.

M.P. But do just come and look at the new buildings.

Can. Pray excuse me; I should only see there the shades of suspended Canons; εἴδωλα καμόντων.

M.P. But you really must; people are sure to ask you, what is the meaning of those annual charges in the accounts, £2000 a year or so, for increased offices. I want you to see the money's worth.

Can. I had rather not go near the place at present.

M.P. Why? surely you're not afraid of the Commissioners? Their office is not like the magnetic mountain, to draw the gold and silver out of your pocket.

Can. No! but there's such a rage now-a-days for finding a dormant value in every thing. Didn't you see some time ago, some Commissioner had discovered a dormant value of £25 in every Beefeater's suit of clothes; and orders were given to cut them down to a plainer uniform, and realise the surplus.

M.P. But that's not to be; when the QUEEN came to open Parliament the other day, there they were as of yore, with their embroidered coats, and red legs, like the partridges that Wellington went to shoot, when Sir H. Burrard would not let him pursue the enemy. There was a ballad in Punch about them:

'Those ancient shins, those cherry pins, all marching in a row.'

Besides, you've no dormant value about you. The Duke of Marlborough himself wouldn't wish to cut you down to a Spencer!

Can. But perhaps if I were to venture into the office, I might find myself 'a commuted dignitary.'

M.P. I don't want you to go in; only to see the exterior façade.

Can. Very well.-Do you know, M.P., I'm sadly troubled about that back Number of the Conversations you want me to publish, taking up the old story of last year's Bill. 'Twill be six months out of date. Better let by-gones be by-gones.

M.P. No! Canon; our friends will be dreadfully disappointed. Do let us have it, to bind up with the rest.

Can. But how will it come in? our talk on Wednesday last is going to Press, as No. V. How can we make No. VI. of last year's events?

M.P. Never mind that; let it be VI. or VII., just where it comes; everybody will understand; it will be like Pisistratus Caxton; you can put on the Title-page, ANACHRONISM.

Can. Did you hear what the Morning Post did? printed almost the whole of our first Nos. I. II. III. in one paper; it filled eight or nine columns.

M.P. I guess the reason of that; the Editor was pleased with your notice of Lord Palmerston's speech on the Slave-trade. Besides it was vacation-time. Did you prosecute for piracy?