readers of this record. The hat is the vulnerable point in the artificial integument. I learned this in early boyhood. I was once equipped in a hat of Leghorn straw, having a brim of much wider dimensions than were usual at that time, and sent to school in that portion of my native town which lies nearest to this metropolis. On my way I was met by a "Port-chuck," as we used to call the young gentlemen of that locality, and the following dialogue ensued: THE PORT CHUCK.-Hullo, you-sir, joo know th' wuz gon-to be a race to-morrah? MYSELF.No. Who's gon-to run, 'n' wher's't gon-to be? THE PORT CHUCK.-Squire Mico 'n' Doctor Williams, round the brim o' your hat. These two much-respected gentlemen being the oldest inhabitants at that time, and the alleged race-course being out of the question, the Port-chuck also winking and thrusting his tongue into his cheek, I perceived that I had been trifled with, and the effect has been to make me sensitive and observant respecting this article of dress ever since. an axiom or two relating to it. Here is 5. A hat which has been popped, or exploded by being sat down upon, is never itself again afterwards. It is a favorite illusion of sanguine natures to believe the contrary. Shabby gentility has nothing so characteristic as its hat. There is always an unnatural calmness about its nap, and an unwholesome gloss, suggestive of a wet brush. The last effort of decayed fortune is expended in smoothing its dilapidated castor. The hat is the ultimum moriens of respectability." The old gentleman took all these remarks and maxims very pleasantly, saying, however, that he had forgotten most of his French except the word for potatoes,-pummies de ture. Ultimum moriens, I told him, is old Italian, and signifies last thing to die. With this explanation he was well contented, and looked quite calm when I saw him afterwards in the entry with a black hat on his head and the white one in his hand. C.-OLD AGE. OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES. 1. "Stand in the The professor took white hairs," I said. said the professor. 66 light of the window, professor," said I. up the desired position. "You have "Had 'em any time these twenty years," "And the crow's foot,-pes anserinus, rather." The professor smiled, as I wanted him to, and the folds radiated like the ridges of a half-opened fan, from the outer corner of the eyes to the temples. "And the calipers," said I. "What are the calipers ?" he asked curiously. Why, the parenthesis," said I. "Parenthesis?" said the professor, "what's that?" "Why, look in the glass when you are disposed to laugh, and see if your mouth isn't framed in a couple of crescent lines,-so, my boy ( )." "It's all nonsense," said the professor; "just look at my biceps ;"and he began pulling off his coat to show me his arm. "Be careful," said I; "you can't bear exposure to the air, at your time of life, as you could once." "I will box with you," said the professor," row with you, ride with you, swim with you, or sit at table with you, for fifty dollars a side." survives stamina," I answered. "Pluck 2. The professor went off, a little out of humor. A few weeks afterwards he came in, looking very good-natured, and brought me a paper, which I have here, and from which I shall read you some portions, if you don't object. He had been thinking the matter over, he said, had read Cicero "De Senectute," and made up his mind to meet old age half These were some of his reflections that he had written down; so here you have way. THE PROFESSOR'S PAPER. The human 3. There is no doubt when old age begins. body is a furnace which keeps in blast three-score years and ten, more or less. It burns about three hundred pounds of carbon a year (besides other fuel), when in fair working order, according to a great chemist's estimate. When the fire slackens, life declines; when it goes out, we are dead. 4. It has been shown by some noted French experimenters, that the amount of combustion increases up to about the thirtieth year, remains stationary to about forty-five, and then diminishes. This last is the point where old age starts from. The great fact of physical life is the perpetual commerce with the elements, and the fire is the measure of it. 5. About this time of life, if food is plenty where you live -for that, you know, regulates matrimony,-you may be expecting to find yourself a grandfather some fine morning; a kind of domestic felicity that gives one a cool shiver of delight to think of, as among the not remotely possible events. or the 6. I don't mind much those slipshod lines Dr. Johnson wrote to Thrale, telling her about life's declining from thirtyfive; the furnace is in full blast for ten years longer, as I have said. The Romans came very near the mark; their age of enlistment reached from seventeen to forty-six years. 7. What is the use of fighting against the seasons, tides, or the movements of the planetary bodies, or this ebb in the wave of life that flows through us? We are old fellows from the moment the fire begins to go out. always behave like gentlemen when we are introduced to new acquaintances. Let us HERE BEGINS THE ALLEGORY OF OLD AGE. 8. Old Age, this is Mr. Professor; Mr. Professor, this is Old Age. OLD AGE.-Mr. Professor, I hope to see you well. I have known you for some time, though I think you did not know me. Shall we walk down the street together? PROFESSOR (drawing back a little).—We can talk more quietly, perhaps, in my study. Will you tell me how it is you seem to be acquainted with every body you are introduced to, though he evidently considers you an entire stranger? OLD AGE.-I make it a rule never to force myself upon a person's recognition until I have known him at least five years. -- 9. PROFESSOR. Do you mean to say that you have known me so long as that? OLD AGE.I do. I left my card on you longer ago than that, but I am afraid you never read it; yet I see you have it with you. PROFESSOR. Where? OLD AGE.-There, between your eyebrows,-three straight lines running up and down; all the probate courts know that token," Old Age, his mark." Put your forefinger on the inner end of one eyebrow, and your middle finger on the inner end of the other eyebrow; now separate the fingers, and you will smooth out my sign-manual; that's the way you used to look before I left my card on you. 10. PROFESSOR.What message do people generally send back when you first call on them? OLD AGE. Not at home. Then I leave a card and go. Next year I call; get the same answer; leave another card. So for five or six,- sometimes ten years or more. At last, if they don't let me in, I break in through the front door or the windows. 11. We talked together in this way some time. Then Old Age said again,-"Come, let us walk down the street together,”—and offered me a cane, an eye-glass, a tippet, and a pair of over-shoes. No, much obliged to you, said I. I don't want those things, and I had a little rather talk with you here, privately, in my study. So I dressed myself up in a jaunty way, and walked out alone; got a fall, caught a cold, was laid up with a lumbago, and had time to think over this whole matter. CI. THE PATRIOT'S ELYSIUM. JAMES MONTGOMERY. 1. There is a land, of every land the pride, 2. The wandering mariner, whose eye explores In every clime, the magnet of his soul, |