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OLD GHOSTS AND NEW.
Of old, around the whitening embers,
One, here and there, as yet remembers
The tales of Ghosts, at Christmas season,
Which once were wont to stagger Reason.
Those tales are told no more at Christmas,
Whose Ghosts are laid beyond the Isthmus
Of Suez, all beneath the billows
Of the Red Sea, on sandy pillows.
The Ghosts with eyes of flame and saucer
Are now as obsolete as CHAUCER;
No Ghosts now rattle

chains, nor blue light
Emit, but “Spirit Lights”-a new light.
White-sheeted Ghosts have grown mere fables.
Instead of groaning, Ghosts rap tables :
With smells of sulphur ne'er assail us;
With curious perfumes oft regale us.
They "mediums” raise by "levitation,"
And subject them to elongation,
And in and out of windows float them,
Two stories high, lords vow, we quote them.
Fruit, flowers, ice, other forms of matter,
On tables, in the dark, Ghosts scatter;
Live lobsters, wriggling eels, and so forth :
Thus their "so potent art” they show forth.
There is a lady, Mrs. GUPPY,
Mark, shallow scientific puppy,
The heaviest she in London, marry,
Her, Spirits three miles long did carry.
Upon a table down they set ber,
Within closed doors. What you know better?
And we're all dupes or self-deceivers ?
Yah, Sadducees and unbelievers !
Some Ghosts, do, mortal hands compelling,
Write letters in phonetic spelling:
Some others, on accordions, cunning
In music, Home, Sweet Home, play, punning.

The grisly Ghosts of old have vanished;
UTILE CUM DULCE,

The ancient Bogies all are banished.
Inquisitive Gent. “You will-A-THINK' ME VERY INDISCREET — BUT I CAN.

How much more credible and pleasant
NOT HELP WONDERING WHAT THIS ELABORATELY-CARVED AND CURIOUSLY-

Than the old Spirits are the present!
RAMIFIED STRUCTURE 18 FOR. Is IT FOR ORNAMENT ONLY, OR INTENDED TO
HEAT THE HOUSE, OR SOMETHING ?”
Pastidious Host. “O, IT'S THE DRAINS! I LIKE TO HAVE 'EM WHERE I CAN

Memorandum for Lords of the Manor.
LOOK AFTER 'EM MYSELF. POOTY DESIGN, AIN'T IT? MAJOLICA, YOU KNOW... A GAME which, when played on Commons, becomes
HAVE SOME CHICKEN ?”

illegal, is the Game of Cribbage.

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Others are there, though notable, less notable than these :

But first to drink the Old Year out, that to his end has come, See Russia, blue-eyed giantess, still rude and ill at ease :

With small cause to regret him, as he passes on to doom. But who can tell what undrawn wells of power and strength are there, and looking on those Nations, scarce a single face I saw Under the brow that looms so broad below her fell of hair ?

But over it lay such a cloud as doubt and fear might draw: And Austria, motley madam, 'twixt Vienna demi-monde,

As if all wished the Old Year gone, while yet all doubted sore Tyrolian mädchen, Magyar brune, and rough Sclavonian blonde : If their welcome to the New Year should be hopefuller, therefor. Of look more gracious than her mood, more potent than her power,

Some, thinking of disasters past, worse sorrows seemed to see, Trying all arts, and changing trick and toilet with the hour.

In the near or farther future, up seething gloomily: And Spain, still proud as when she walked New World and Old a Some thinking of advantage won, seemed scarce to trust their hold Queen,

On that advantage, lest their prize turn dust, like fairy gold. Beneath her soiled and frayed brocades the rags plain to be seen, Stately of speech, but beggarly of all but sounding phrase,

Only methought that Britain and Columbia, 'mid their peers, Slattern at home and shrew abroad, in worse as better days.

Showed eyes more hopeful, calmer brows, and lips less pale with

fears : With sidelong and suspicious looks on Russia, Austria cast, As having clearer view than most where surest faith should lieWhich scarce her yashmak serves to hide, see Turkey gliding past. To put their trust in Providence, and keep their powder dry. A harem-beauty out of place 'twixt angers and alarms At the hot looks of would-be Lords, that lust to own her charms.

As being bent to fight the fight of common sense and truth:

Nor yield the faith therein to fear, the rights thereof to ruth : Casting about for shelter she draws where, hand in hand,

Not give knaves, fools, or fanatics, the driving seat and reins : Fair England and Columbia, proud child, proud mother, 'stand: Worthy his hire to own each man who works, with hand or brains. Time was upon each other they had turned less friendly eyes, But of late both have grown wiser than let angry passions rise.

To recognise the Heavenly rule that various lots assigns,

But ranges high and low alike 'neath Duty's even lines : To the side of stout BRITANNIA I see scared Turkey creep,

To do to others as we would that they to us should do, Though BRITANNIA lifts no finger her foes at bay to keep:

To prize the blessings that we have, and others help thereto. But, for all her

quiet bearing, there is something in her air That brings to mind the good old saw, "Of sl: eping dogs beware!" While Britain to this faith is firm, and puts this faith in deed,

Little to her how plenteous or how poor the years succeed. Twelve struck-and I saw grey Old Time his wassail-bowl uprear, She holds a hope good fortune reared not up, ill casts not down ; As he called on all the Nations to drink in the New Year;

Trusting the Power whose hand alike is o'er Red-Cap and Crown.

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25

At the Scene of Dresden China Watteauesque figures, Tommy's EVENINGS FROM HOME.

delight declared itself in loud applause.

Tommy. Are those the Clowns ? I thought you said, Sir, that A New PLAN.- To Everyone whom it may Concern.

there was only one Clown!

Mr. Barlow. To the eye of the rightly constituted mind there can

IS a gratification to Mr. be but one Clown; and our mental vision is only disturbed and conYORKyour wanted!

Punch, to be able to an- fused by this multiplication of drolls.
nounce that he has entered MR. BARLOW further explained that the Clown is human like
into an arrangement with ourselves; whereat TOMMY expressed himself dissatisfied.
descendants of the cele Mr. Barlow. As the comic scenes appear to depress you, HARRY,
brated Masters Sandford and as Tommy is evidently becoming tired and cross withal, it were
and Merton, who, with best to leave.
their admirable preceptor, Harry. Indeed, Sir, this Pantomime reminds me of what you told
the grandson of the illus- me about the shape of the earth.
trious Mr. Barlow, will, Mr. Barlow. I do not see, HARRY, how you connect the two
during the present Christ- subjects. There is a vast difference between this planet and a
mas Holidays, visit most Pantomime.
of the Metropolitan amuse Harry. Indeed, Sir, there is; for our planet is entirely round,
ments.

and this Pantomime is remarkably flat.
One morning, as they Mr. Barlow. Beware of such wholesale condemnations, my dear
were sitting, after break- HARRY ; this Pantomime has already given delight to some twenty
fast, in their lodgings in thousand persons, every one, it may be, as good as yourself.
the Strand, TOMMY said to Tommy was much pleased, however, at HARRY's application of a
MR. BARLOW, "May. I ask scientific fact, and expressed his determination of learning As-
you a question, Sir " tronomy at once, in order that he might be as ready as Harry on

MR. BARLOW considered any suitable occasion.
for a few moments, and On quitting the theatre, MR. BARLow promised the box-keeper a
then granted the desired sixpence, whereat the poor man could scarcely refrain from em-
permission.

bracing his benefactor. So they left.
Tommy. What,'Sir, is a
Pantomime ?

Next NIGHT-COVENT GARDEN.—Here they saw the Pantomime
Mr. Barlow (smiling; of Blue Beard. As each new Scene presented itself to their view,
Perhaps Harry can tell they were vehemently enraptured, and thought that no expression
you.

of praise could suffice to express their pleasure.
Harry. Willingly, MAS-

Mr. Barlow. Certainly the scenery is very beautiful.
TER TOMMY.

Harry. The ladies are indeed lovely!
Tommy. I should like

Mr. Barlow. They are mortal.
very much to hear.
Harry. You must know, And here are the Camels, and–0!-a White Elephant !

Tommy. O, here is Blue Beard's procession ! I know the story! then, MASTER TOMMY, that in London there are a great many buildings called Theatres, or Theayters, to which some people go, burning

climates. In his temper he is gentle and tractable, and his

Mr. Barlow. The Camel, my dear Tommy, is found chiefly in and, in cases where the free list is entirely suspended, and the patience in being absurd system of orders is abolished, actually pay money in the Audience. Hush! Order! Turn him out! expectation of being amused by the performers. Indeed, at Christmas-time, when nearly every sort of entertainment is open to the better to remain silent, and watch a Scene which gives everyone so

Harry. Indeed, Sir, they are alluding to you! Would it not be public, it is a person's own fault if he is not constantly amused. Tommy. But pray, HARRY, have you no more particulars to tell

much gratification ? me about these Pantomimes?'.

MR. BARLOW perceived the sense of this remark, and confined Harry. You can judge for yourself, MASTER TOMMY.

himself to explaining to TOMMY, in an undertone, that Mr. MacTommy was so affected with this rebuke, that he only restrained the Grecian Theatre, where he was considered "funny;" but that

DERMOTT, who played Blue Beard, had been, till lately, an actor at his tears by a strong physical exertion, which resulted in his giving here his humour seemed to be limited to an imitation of one MR. HARRY a kick on the shins underneath the table. For this, being CLARKE, an actor of burlesque

parts most favourably known to a boy of generous disposition, he had the good-breeding and courtesy playgoers; and,

indeed, the audience seemed to be largely of MR. would have received at the

hands of his friend HARRY; and, in order which he did cleverly, that they testified their approbation of his to propitiate the justly-aroused anger of MR. BARLOW, MASTER drolleries. TOMMY offered to treat HARRY SANDFORD and their worthy preceptor to the play that very night; a proposal which, after some the whole town. It is indeed a magnificent spectacle.

Mr. Barlor. This Scene of the Amazons' Encampment will attract show of reluctance, both MR. BARLOW and HARRY SANDFORD cordially accepted.

Tommy. There must be thousands on the stage !

MR. BARLOW smiled at this, and was about to demonstrate, mathe

matically, the improbability of more than three hundred of the corps AT DRURY LANE.—On their arrival in the lobby of the Dress de ballet being on the scene at once, when his attention was attracted Circle, a kindly-spoken gentleman insisted upon relieving the party to the Grand Transformation Scene by vociferous applause, in which of their coats, and gave them a programme of the performance, for he was conscientiously able to join. On their quitting the theatre, which they returned him their most sincere thanks; MR. BARLOW, at eleven o'clock, the boys were loud in their praises of what they moreover, promised him a gratuity on his leaving the theatre. This had seen. promise was accompanied by a significant look at HARRY, who fully Harry, How diverting were those French dancers ! and the appreciated his worthy preceptor's conduct. As to Tommy, he was Shadows ! too full of wonder and admiration of all he saw to notice this trans Tommy. And the Clown with the two boys! and their fiddles and action, and, indeed, the questions which arose to his lips during the musical bells ! evening were so numerous, that, with a discretion beyond his years, Mr. Barlow. You are right. With the comic scenes and the he determined to reserve them for a future occasion.

Clown came the fun peculiar to this species of amusement, of which The Pantomime was Tom Thumb.

there was, amid all the glitter and splendour, a laek. And perhaps Harry, The VOKES's are very comical people with their legs. this is as it should be; for why term the Harlequinade “the Comic

Mr. Barlow. Yes, truly; and, being so, it is a thousand pities Scenes," unless they are so by comparison with the previous portion any of them should attempt to sing. Their dancing is highly amusing. of the Pantomime ?

TOMMY was here very much alarmed by the appearance of a Harry. Your observation, Sir, reminds me of the entertaining story Giant's head over the castle wall. His fears were not allayed when of Sophronius and Kydaspes, which TOMMY has not yet heard. the Giant ate Tom Thumb, who, on his re-appearance from the HARRY was about to commence the tale without further parley, Giant's mouth, was taken up in the claws of a huge bird. This when it was discovered that TOMMY had slipped out of the room, made Tommy cry,; and it was not until MR. BARLOW had explained and had, it was supposed, retired to bed. MR. BARLow therefore to him that the object of the Pantomime was to make little boys and intimated that, as he had heard the story before, it would be better girls laugh, that he at all recovered his wonted spirits. However, if they both followed their young friend's example. on seeing that HARRY was smiling, and that MR. BARLOW was HARRY

submitted to this arrangement; and when the two boys were composing himself to sleep, he was reassured by their demeanour, assured that their worthy preceptor was asleep, they took his latehand became deeply interested in the stage representation.

key, and sallied forth to enjoy themselves at Evans's supper-rooms.

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A VIRTUOUS VESTRY.

HOROSCOPE FOR 1872.
E it known that a sort of

With the aid of this ingenious little instrument, the horoscope,
Fairor miscellaneous Mar- which is simple in construction, easily cleaned,

and to be had of all ket is held in the New Cut respectable dealers throughout the kingdom in gold, silver, mother(excuse mention of such a of-pearl, ormolu, aluminium, and other suitable materials,

a clear place) every Sunday morn- insight may be obtained, on a fine evening, into the more salient ing. There do people of events of the year one thousand eight hundred and seventy-two. the baser sort buy their

The observations we have been enabled to make with one of these Sunday dinners, and other instruments (fitted with the patent self-acting forecaster) are so matters which they fancy startling that, without loss of time, we hasten to lay them before they want. The Lambeth the world, for the guidance and direction of reigning Sovereigns, Vestry, justly indignant Cabinet Ministers, School-Boards, Members of Parliament, Mayors, at such goings on, ap- Magistrates, Mothers of Marriageable Daughters, Managers of pealed to COLONEL HEN- Theatres, Newspaper Editors, Speculators, and others, who may be DERSON to put a stop to desirous to make their arrangements at once for the ensuing twelve them. That haughty and months. sarcastic official declared Parliament will meet early in February, a few days after it ceases that he should do nothing to be legal to slaughter pheasants. It will be prorogued early in of the sort, unless the August, about the period when grouse-shooting becomes a lawful shopkeepers who keep pastime. their shops open on Sun The HOME SECRETARY will withdraw several measures in the days were also obliged to course of the Session. respect the day of rest.

The London School-Board, by the active interposition of its We pity the Colonel's want Beadles, will clear the streets of from ten to twenty children. of logical power. What is there in common between Mayor's banquets.

Australian meat will appear on the bill of fare at the Lord a respectable shopkeeper, who pays rates, and a low person who wheels a barrow, or rents the flap over a cellarage ? The Vestry will take place, one which ought to make a great noise in the world,

In the month of February a most serious astronomical occurrence scorned sạch terms, and have been taking the names of the vendors and is likely to be attended with disastrous consequences to those who give. Summonses have been issued, but the matter stands

over may be unfortunate enough to be on the spotthe full moon will for a few weeks.

fall on Saturday, the 24th.

There will be at least one new cookery-book published during the At the end of that time, Mr. Punch cordially trusts that the

year. Lambeth Vestry will sternly carry out their plan for promoting the

Good port wine will become scarcer and dearer than ever. respectability of the New Cut, and if COLONEL HENDERSON again

The CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER will, in his annual Budget,
refuses to help them, let appeal be made to MR. BRUCE. There is
about the New Cut buy
their fish, meat, and the rest of their luxa- cards, dolls, pins, perambulators, umbrellas, and

wigs.
not the
least pretence for holding the Fair. Let the people in and propose a tas upon one or more of the following

articles:-calling

The Mines Regulation Bill will be brought before Parliament; ries on Saturday. What is to prevent them from doing so. Wages also the COLLIER affair. are always paid at an early hour on Saturday, and by four o'clock on that day the wife of an artisan has always received from her rots, bullfinches, and squirrels at the Crystal Palace. The DUCHESS

There will be a show (the first) of guinea-pigs, white mice, parhusband the bulk of his earnings, less perhaps by a trifle which she OF LAUNCESTON, LADY ÎDA Down, and the Honourable Mrs. ALFRED playfully returns to him, that he may have a pipe and a pint before WARBLEMORE will act as Judges. going to bed. He would be considered a bad fellow if he did not

Several new animals will be added to the collection in the Zoogive her the money, or if she had to coax, it out of him late,

or to logical Gardens,
take it from his pocket when he had sunk into the gentle slumber of
intoxication. That he should surlily refuse it, and strike her, and cluded, and, after deliberating for several

days, will return into

The jury in the Tichborne case will retire when the trial is conforce her to wait until morning brought better temper, is too mon- Court 'late at night, and deliver their verdict amidst breathless strous an idea. “Our flesh and blood never does this sort of thing. silence. The LORD CHIEF BARON will have a sleeping apartment

Let the Wife therefore make her purchases on Saturday. Let her fitted up in the Westminster Sessions House, that no time may be
take her fish and meat home. We are perfectly aware that they are lost in calling him up to receive the verdict.
perishable articles, but we suppose that they can be put into the Several Colonial Bishops will return home.
pantry down-stairs, or that, if domestics or cats are distrusted, the An eye should be kept on the Pope, the Orleans Princes, the Irish
food can be placed in the refrigerator. That article is cheap enough, Roman Catholic Bishops, the Publicans, the Republicans, the
anyhow, and a very good one can be got for three or four guineas, Spiritualists, the Ritualists, SIR CHARLES DILKE, MR. WHALLEY,
and it is the affectation of ignorance to say that ice is not at hand, MR. Butt, and MR. BROCK, the pyrotechnist, as they may all be
for we know that the Wenham Lake carts go round several times a expected to do extraordinary things.
week-this we state from our own knowledge, and we hate senti-

An eminent Archdeacon of the Established Church, well known mentality. By this means not only will offence to the refined in the West of England, will conduct the services at MR. SPURGEON'S natures of the Lambeth Vestry be avoided, but the vendors of the Tabernacle, and MR. SPURGEON will exchange pulpits with him. articles will be released from work, and enabled to attend places of

A new Opera will be brought out on the last night but two of worship. To their own declaration that but for Sunday trade they the season. must go to the workhouse, we lend a deaf ear. Morality cannot

There will be some failures in the City, and constant stoppages in yield to Necessity. A prudent man will earn his income in six days. the streets. If he cannot, we must echo the remark made by a conscientious

The British Public will remit large sums of money for the relief of person at a meeting on the subjeot, and say, “Let him starve."

the Chinese, and allow charitable institutions at home to languish Mr. Punch strongly upholds the Lambeth Vestry in this business, for want of funds. and thinks their conduct quite worthy of the reputation they have MR. JOHN BROWN, MR, THOMAS JONES, MR. WILLIAM ROBINSON, 80 long borne. He is much displeased with the Colonel of Police, MR. JAMES THOMPSON, MR. CHARLES JACKSON, and MR. HENRY and hopes never to have to say, in MR. POPE's words

SMITH will contract matrimonial alliances after harvest. “ Stern HENDERSON repented,

The Gulf Stream will be heard of again, probably for the last

time, the tendency of modern scientific investigation being to show And gave them back the Fair."

up that bugbear as a humbug. If Vestries will enforce Sabbatarianism, and if Alliances will MR. DISRAELI will deliver an address de omnibus rebus et quibustotally deprive the weaker classes of the Refreshments of which dam aliis, at Glasgow at Easter, and on Cottage Cookery at they mostly make bad

use, we shall raise the standard of national Hughenden in the autumn, morals, and entirely efface the discontent which some persons believe Letters will be addressed to MR. GLADSTONE demanding, explais felt with national institutions.

nations from him as to his religion, his relations, his favourite poet, and his private account at his banker's.

Oysters will be sixpence apiece.

Spain will have one or two new Ministries. SEASONABLE SENTIMENT.-May the Commission of Inquiry into The estimates will include a vote for the purchase of robes and a the Megæra business get to the bottom of it!

wig for the new SPEAKER.

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MARK LEMON.

THE RETICENCE OF THE PRESS. It became our duty, some weeks ago, to invite the attention of our TAE American Press admires the reticence which the British readers to the fact that a Memorial Fund, in aid of the Widow and Press has practised during the seventy odd days occupied in hearing unmarried Daughters of our late lamented friend, MARK LEMON, had one side of a cause which will be celebrated. The English Press

also takes credit to itself for that reticence. It is, doubtless, exembeen opened. On a page at the end of our present issue will be plary. By not interfering with, we know how much it furthers, found the list of those who have subscribed to the Fund. Several the administration of Justice. A trial such as the great lawsuit now donors have en generous, many have been very liberal, and thanks pending, or any other in a British Court of Law, is determined, are due to those who have done what they could.” But the aggre- the minds of the jury are mere scales. The Counsel on either side

we all know, simply by the weight of evidence, in relation to which gate amount as yet obtained is altogether inadequate to the purpose, respectively confine themselves to the production of true evidence that of making a permanent provision for those so dear to one each on behalf of his client, and the refutation of false evidence who never lost an opportunity of doing a kindness. It is with advanced for the opposite party. The Judge is the only person in reluctance that, after examining the list, we admit to ourselves Court who expresses

any opinion on the case which could possibly that very much is owed to private friendship, and comparatively of strict impartiality. No barrister, whether

counsel for the plainlittle to public recognition of the noble character and the merits of tiff or the defendant, ever attempts to bias their decision either by MARK LEMON. Believing, as we sincerely believe, that we may sophistry or appeals to their passions and prejudices. It is thereaccount for this by supposing that thousands are still unacquainted fore highly necessary that the Press should abstain as strictly

as it with the fact that their aid is invited, we re-iterate our Appeal. does from any explanation or argument with reference to a pending We venture also to ask our contemporaries, who have already so suit which, how sincerely soever meant to instruct, might possibly ably and kindly promoted the object, again to perform that labour have the effect of misleading the jury sitting

thereon.

If, indeed, Counsel were usually accustomed to employ the arts of of love. We, lastly, call attention to the notice at the foot of the oratory, and the dodges of dialectics, in order to make the worst list, stating how subscriptions can be forwarded. Some misap- appear the better cause in the eyes of twelve men more or less liable prehension on this point may have retarded the liberality which to be deceived and deluded, then, indeed, the reticence of a respectwe refuse to believe will not be shown to those who possess such able and intelligent Press, in abstaining from any remarks capable inherited and such personal claim to the kindly consideration of all. of helping a jury to deliver a righteous verdict, would not perhaps

be quite so purely advantageous as it is now.

Juvenile Gulosity. A SAGE said to a Schoolboy, home for the holidays, "A contented mind is a continual feast." "Is it ? " quoth young Hopeful, “I should rather say that a continual feast was a contented mind.”

Riddle for the Young Folks.
Why are the two letters at the tail the most sensible of all the
Alphabet ?-Because they are the Wise Head.

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