The Living down at our Village falling vacant, LORD PAVONDALE left it to the is most wanted and most welcome. This park is at

Influential Parishioner. "THEN AM I TO UNDERSTAND, MR. MANIPLE, THAT YOU OBJECT TO BURY A DISSENTER?"

The Rev. Mr. Maniple (one of the Competitors). "O, DEAR ME, No, MR. JINKS; QUITE THE CONTRARY !!"

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

ance, and Punch hopes that their military ardour is not to be checked by any harshness.

Rather an odd debate in the Commons, touching the right of ONDAY, April 8.-everybody to be heard against a certain Metropolitan Improvement MR. DISRAELI ap- Bill, the House having decided that the Board of Works should peared, fresh from alone be heard. But it was fairly contended that the Board is not his great Lanca- the representative of everybody, but only of Vestrymen, who are shire triumph, and certainly not everybody." Ministers had to split. MR. AYRTON not looking at all opposed the larger proposal, and MR. GLADSTONE supported it, whic like a wearied Lion, as M. P. for Greenwich, he was almost bound to do. It was, however, but rather as one rejected by a good majority. prepared to roar We had a debate raised by MR. FOWLER, on the subject of Entail again at the short- He wishes to make land much more easy of transfer. An unlucky est notice. How-reference to some cottages which are in a disgraceful state, gave ever, to do him MR. DISRAELI the means of making a good point. He was able t justice, he never show that the dwellings were not the property of a Tory landlord, assumes the leonine but of a Liberal tradesman. MR. GLADSTONE thought that the without provoca- subject was not ripe for legislation, and asked MR. FOWLER të tion - he hath a withdraw his motion, to which MR. FOWLER replied that if Me temper, Sirs, which GLADSTONE could not make up his mind how to vote, he could easily is much to be walk out of the House. (There is a new manual of politeness just envied. published.) The snare of the fowler was escaped on division, MR. NEVILLE 103 to 81. GRENVILLE curiously inquired whether six counsel had been retained to prosecute the man CASTRO, now

Wednesday.-MR. G. ONSLOW, one of the distinguished treasurers of the Castro Fund, presented a petition from some people at a about Tichborne, declaring that they believed in the Claimant, and begging that he might be defended at the public expense. VL ARTHUR GUEST presented a somewhat similar petition from Poe, but next day wrote to the Standard to say that he had merely dis in Newgate. The charged a Member's duty, and had refused to ask that the petition ATTORNEY-GENE- might be read, as that would have implied his approbation of it. RAL said that the Other proceedings were dull, except that the Sunday Trading enormous mass of evidence to be dealt with required a strong legal Bill was opposed by MR. PETER TAYLOR in a really clever and staff-not, however, that there was any difficulty in the case itself, effective speech, in which he deprecated, very properly, all needles which was most simple, "the Claim' being an insult to the common- interference with the sale of the small necessaries and comforts sense of mankind." Yes, but that sense is not so common, espe- the needy. The Bill was rejected by 69 to 40. The smallness cially among the commoner sort, CASTRO'S chief patrons and backers. the aggregate number, when a question involving the interests Evidently LORD ENFIELD is not let into all secrets. He stated lowly folk was at stake, shall be charitably explained by th that there was no hope of any relaxation in the French Passport suggestion that Solvent gentlemen felt ashamed to be meddling System. On a later night his chiefs in both Houses proclaimed that the ways of the poor, who have bother enough, without Par it was to be immediately and entirely abolished. mentary addition.

MR. DODSON, Chairman of Committees, announced his retirement, and he was duly complimented by the two Leaders of party.

Thursday.-MR. JOHN BRIGHT re-appeared in the House, after long and much-regretted absence. He came in at prayer-time, When MR. DODSON publishes a third volume of the enchanting there could be no demonstration of welcome, or he would have bee adventures of MISS ALICE, of Wonderland and Looking-glassland, hailed with hearty cheers. Mr. Punch hereby cheers him last he shall be duly complimented by the Great Leader of all, At any time our JOHN would have been joyfully received, but there Mr. Punch. The latter cannot as yet recover from his admiration just now special reason for shaking his hand hugely. For we th of the marvellous poem, 66 Jabberwocky," and of his own miracu-week read a capital letter (a "patriotic" letter, as the Conservat lous adaptation thereof. His only regret is that his amber embalms Standard justly calls it) to MR. CYRUS FIELD, in which MR. BRISE a bloated blow-fly. sets the conduct of the Americans "in order before their eye denounces the "folly" of the indirect demands, and declares the England will never go into Court upon a claim which, if gi against her, she would never accept. Has the Presidential Ele tion anything to do with this matter?" asks MR. BRIGHT, demure Ha ha! Does he remember the big bellows and the Yank "Claimant" in Mr. Punch's masterly Cartoon?

occasions.

MR. BONHAM-CARTER, who has been for many years the M.P. for Winchester, was made the new Chairman of Committees, and it is to be hoped that though our Carter will usually guide his team by ejaculations, he will not forget that he carries a whip for use on fit "On hackney stands, We reverence the coachman that cries Gee!' And spares the lash." (Rejected Addresses.) but if horses will not go, or will jib, the resources of science must be employed.

We then got upon the Ballot Bill, and the obstructives made the discussion rather amusing. Several divisions were taken, and there was a pleasing fight on the question whether the polls should be kept open after dark, for the convenience of our artisan friends. MR. FORSTER thought that disturbances would be the result, but had no objection to open the poll till sunset, provided that happened before eight o'clock. Imagine Sul being the arbiter of elections. There was also a struggle to insert a clause for detecting personation, but Ministers were afraid that this would interfere with the absolute secresy in which it is imagined that Britons desire to involve their voting.

What do you say to this, MR. FORSTER? Suppose that electors who are indignant at the idea of its being supposed that they are afraid to declare their votes should set up a sort of Register office, on election day, and should proceed thence from the poll-booth, to set down their suffrage for publication among their fellow-citizens. Will this be illegal?

"What, hang a man for speaking Out?

(Cowper.)

Then farewell, British Freedom." Tuesday. The Lords met again, and were entertained with a discussion on the case of some young officers who, having been already gazetted as Ensigns and Lieutenants, are now to be sent to Sandhurst for education. It was explained that they were so gazetted, with notice that they would have to be subject to new rules, then in preparation. But, on the whole, these young Swells have a griev

There is a Railway Bill, for enabling a company to cut throu the most beautiful part of Sutton Park, a favourite haunt of the people of Birmingham. A slight deviation would answer engineering purposes, and save the scenery. But Mr. Punch need hardly say that the Railway interest was much too strong to listen to any sentimental appeal. However, the Birmingham peop mean to ask the aid of the House of Lords, and here will be a capit opportunity for the owners of Parks to show that they understand the feelings of the lovers of Parks.

MR. AYRTON indulged in a scoff at the Clerk of the Weather remarking that as he had actually favoured us with two fine days in succession, tan might soon be put down in the Park, unless the official in question changed his mind. It is pleasing MR. AYRTON's reverent habit never abandons him, be the topic what it may.

see that

Young Gentlemen of the Foreign Office, who is responsible for this blunder? In the Correspondence about the Treaty with France, the words "sur lest," meaning "in ballast," have been translated as if the second word had been "l'Est," and "coming from the East" had been meant. "Nous sayons! Say un mull de la première magnitude, ay tout le gras sera dans le feu see set sort de chose ay de aller sur."

Friday. In both Houses there was explanation of the state of the American negotiations. We lodge a Counter-Case, but we avo any argument on the indirect claims, and we reserve all rights, and also liberty to recede. If no further blunder has been made, these precautions would appear to be sufficient.

SIR WILFRID LAWSON moved a resolution to the effect the England should declare that she would never fight in anybody quarrel but her own, in any circumstances whatsoever. After a good

debate, in which the doctrine of isolation was shown to be absurd,
SIR WILFRID SELFISH (as an old comedy-writer would call him)
was defeated by 126 to 21.
MR. BAILLIE-COCHRANE stoutly denounced the International
Society: the lesser MR. BENTINCK was exceedingly impertinent to
MR. GLADSTONE: we got through Committee on the Ballot Bill, and
also on the Parks Bill, and we walked off to bed observing that this
had been the warmest day of the year, and that we felt quite
summery. Also we spoke of the sea-"speech which in England is
a pleasant sign."

A CASE FOR CRYING ODOROUS FISH.

THAT must have been a nice
business of MR. SALMON'S!
Carried on down at Bermond-
sey, in the midst of a dense
population-the making of
manure from carrion-its in-
gredients are thus savourily
described:-

"The blood and refuse of
slaughter-houses, stinking fish,
pigs' hair, putrid animal matter,
and garbage of all sorts. These
remained collected together in
heaps while waiting the process of
manufacture by which they were
converted into superphosphate."

JUSTICE BYLES had dealt with this witch's cauldron, on indictment, very summarily, in 1868.

best in this best of all possible manure-manufactories; that nothing which could be done to prevent nuisance was left undone; that no nuisance was possible, if the Salmonian processes were carried out as devised; that the bad smells came from other sources; finally, to cap the climax, that there were no BAD smells, for that the Salmonian odours were rather nice than otherwise! Sanitary officers (Lot of the district), agricultural chemists, and chemical lecturers came forward freely to testify on behalf of SALMON and his sweetness. At last CHIEF JUSTICE COCKBURN, who has a highly undignified and unlawyerlike way of taking bulls by the horns, daringly proposed that the jury and himself should go bodily to the place, and have what he called a "view," but what we should rather have called a "smell," of the premises.

Chief-Justice and jury went, saw, and smelled, and came back satisfied that whatever DR. LETHEBY might have done for the process of manufacture, the storing of materials for the nice little mixture called "Salmon's Patent Superphosphate" produced odours which actually, as the Chief-Justice said, "took your breath away'

and no wonder, when one reads in detail the ingredients of this highly fertilising compound, "putrid pigs' hair, rotten fishes' heads, stale slaughter-house offal, and fermenting horse-dung"! But to the sweet all things are sweet :

"The MESSES. SALMON were a good deal cross-examined as to the collections of foul materials they had upon their premises; and denied any unpleasant smells.

"One of the jury asked MR. SALMON, jun., whether he thought the smell at a certain place he described offensive; and the witness answered that he did not, upon which the juror lifted up his hands." And we don't wonder at it, any more than the Chief Justice did.

66

Of course, on the smell," SALMON was found to stink, though apparently with considerable reluctance on the part of some of the jury, even after smelling on the spot!

But what a pleasant picture the proceedings suggest of this not abnormally odoriferous "low" neighbourhood!

What a practical people we approve ourselves in allowing such "The moment it was proved-processes to be carried on in the midst of dense populations, and as it was in a few minutes, by the how our respect for trade and capital rises superior to stench! Odor first witness-that the effluvia from lucri, indeed! What was Roman VESPASIAN to British Vestryman? the premises was so offensive as to With the great medicine-man's sanitas sanitatum, omnia sanitas at be a serious annoyance to the Manchester, MR. STANSFELD'S Public Healths Bill in the House, neighbours, the Judge said at once, CHIEF JUSTICE COCKBURN's sound sanitary sense at Bermondsey, 'This is a public nuisance. The quantum of the nuisance is quite immaterial, and LORD DERBY'S "Common-health Commonwealth" wisdom at except for the purpose of sentence, and, therefore, unless this evidence can be Derby, we ought surely, as a nation, to be progressing fast and far controverted there must be a verdict for the Crown.' It was impossible to controvert the evidence, and accordingly that course was taken, and the on the way to that cleanliness which is next to godliness. defendant submitted to a verdict against him."

-"in December last the medical officer visited MR. SALMON to warn him in a friendly way and induce him to remedy the grievance, he received his remonstrances in a very hostile spirit."

Here is the charge brought against the fragrant Salmonian plant, in a Doctor's affidavit sworn in Chancery proceedings taken last year by Messrs. PEEK and FREAN, the great Bermondsey biscuit-factors, against their strong-smelling neighbour :

"The process of manufacturing manure carried on by the defendant is detrimental to the health of the inhabitants, and especially to the plaintiffs, their servants, and workmen, and it is impossible, I believe, so to carry it on as that it shall not be a constant source of annoyance."

DR. PARKER also stated :

"The fumes of the process are particularly disgusting, and pervade the streets and gardens, but the smell is worse in digging out the putrid mass and putting it in bags and carting it away."

At length the nuisance has again been attacked at law before CHIEF JUSTICE COCKBURN. All that we have quoted was borne out, to the letter, by the evidence given at the trial the other day :

"It was shown that the most horrible effluvia emanated from the defendant's premises, from the heaps of rotten and putrefying materials collected there, and that on 'mixing days,' as they were called-that is, days on which the materials were boiled down-there was an escape of pestiferous gases, and a kind of heavy steam, which left a mould where it fell, and was accompanied with an acrid sensation in the mouth and throat. Evidence was given that vast quantities of fish-heads, garbage from slaughter-houses, and other filthy materials, were brought on the premises, and kept there until mixing days, which occurred, it was said, only once or twice a month; so that the neighbours either had the foul effluvia of the materials, or the still more offensive effluvia of the "mixing."

Of course there was the usual cross-swearing, the usual arraying of eminent "scientific witnesses" to prove that everything was for the

:

.

But how if sanitas still rhymes to vanitas: if the half-empty House listens languidly when" Public Health" is the order of the day if CHIEF JUSTICE COCKBURN lays down the law against stench amid stench, and LORD DERBY has to insist on the uselessness of sanitary law without sanitary sense to stimulate and guide its application?

Till we have enlisted Public Opinion in the service of Public Health, talk will do little, and law less. JOHN BULL must properly value sweet air to breathe, sweet water to drink, and clean streets to live in, before all his law-makers and law-enforcers will give him either one or the other.

THE GIANTS AND THE BUNKUM-BAG.
Two well-intentioned Giants, face to face,
Anxious to shake hands, bygones bid be gone,
Are held apart from cousinly embrace
By a huge wind-bag, all of Bunkum blown!
When Giant JOHN calls Giant JONATHAN
No more to let this Bunkum-Bag prevent
The two stout cousins' doing all they can
To clear off scores of ancient discontent,

Shall Giant JONATHAN to Giant JOHN

Turn a deaf ear, and swear that wind has weight,
And pin his faith the Bunkum-Bag upon,
And ope new sores, and old sores aggravate?

Shall not both join the Bunkum-Bag to prick,
And give its heated humbug to the winds,
And fall to settle the substantials slick,

And pay, or take, as arbitration finds ?

Logic for Ladies.

IT has been said by some wise person, and believed by many not otherwise, that it is in the power of any woman to make any man marry her she pleases. Very well; then do away with actions for breach of promise of marriage.

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.-APRIL 20, 1872.