boast good eyes, that as the troops moved off the ground, the statue of suddenly touched into a firework of some sort this P a marvellous NAPOLEON on his own Column, bent a little forward; and his bronze rocket, showering stars; this U a Bengal light; this N-this c-this H lips moved somewhat, as he vouchsafed down from his eminence, an each and all a marvellous combination of fire and colour,-let the imperial bow. NAPOLEON in the flesh had, in his time, been on that reader obligingly think this, and so thinking, multiply the fireworks by cliff: nothing could move him then: but now a scene was acting on multiplication that shall reach to the skies, and he may, perhaps, Boulogne Sands, that in its wondrous strangeness moved and melted imagine somewhat of the splendours that burned about QUEEN VICeven bronze. To think that French regiments should, on a French TORIA as she took her way on board. Out blazed a bouquet, growing shore, pass in review before a QUEEN OF ENGLAND, the while English to the heavens,-a bouquet of red, white, and blue fire-flowers-roses three-deckers, calm in the magnificence of their might, should lie lazily red and white, and violets of azure-as the yacht, its quarter all a in the offing! flame, like burning arrow, shot along the sea! And then-and then-the guns of the English ships gave mouth; as it seemed to Mr. Punch's ears-with a gruff affectionateness, welcoming their mistress, the Royal Lady of the Lions, back again to them!-Still they roared, and still deeper and deeper, as though their satisfaction deepened as their own QUEEN came nearer and nearer; and she was once again among them!

The QUEEN OF ENGLAND went to dinner, and all the fireworks, from smallest, most spluttering squib, to tallest, and most starry rocket, must have felt the warmth of impatience that still pervaded Boulogne, growing the warmer as the hour came on. At length, God Save the Queen was breathed through regimental brass! (Again, a very sharp eye-witness averred to Mr. Punch that he saw the bronze NAPOLEON just lift his bronze chapeau!) The QUEEN descended; and, at the same time, the QUEEN's yacht, the Victoria and Albert,-like the Sea-Serpent illuminated with fiery speed, dashed to the harbour to receive her mistress. The thing seemed alive, and of its instinct seemed to know its duty. Can MR. PUNCH write fireworks? Can he dip his pen in pyrotechnic ink? Why, perhaps not. But let the reader consider the page before him. Let him imagine every letter-black and small, and thronging- sake changed with each, her comb and glass.

And in such affectionate, such loyal guardianship-with the hopes of France and England intermingling above her and around her-so leave we VICTORIA. Two Mermaids rose in the offing. One sang God save the Queen, the other trilled Partant pour la Syrie. One was an English maid; the other French. When each had done her singing, each by way of keep

The Projectors submit, that the restoration, by their unaided efforts, of such a peace as that which they contemplate would alone more than repay the Subscribers; to say nothing to the great

Economy of Human Life And human suffering which would result from the wholesale, but limited, destruction of savages.

A COMPANY under the
above title is in
course of formation *.
upon the newly-le-
galised principle of
Limited Liability.
The superiority of
private enterprise to
the operation of Go-
vernment, which has
hitherto been exem-
plified in every in-
stance where the one
has come into con-
trast with the other,
warrants the conclu-
sion that a body of
intelligent capitalists
would pursue the
arts of war with the
same relative success
as that with which
similar societies have

cultivated those of peace. The speedy and satisfactory termination of the War is an object, which of itself, would render a large outlay a wise investment on the part of any inportant member of the mercantile community, and the projectors of the Projectile Peace Company have accordingly determined to fix the Company's Shares at

TEN THOUSAND POUNDS PER SHARE.

THE Record lately quoted from our last number some lines relative to the Promenade Concert given in Kensington Gardens on Sunday to the Public, by the QUEEN. To this quotation were annexed certain comments, reviling us, of course, for ribaldry and profaneness. Our sanctimonious contemporary accused us, moreover, of advocating, in those verses, the institution of JULLIEN's concerts upon Sundays. If the Record writer has ever been present at the concerts of M. JULLIEN, he must know that they usually include quadrilles, polkas, and other frivolous and trumpery pieces of music, whereas the music which we represented as proper for Sunday, was distinctly described by us as having, on the mind of the hearer, an effect essentially and beneficially spiritual.

Veracity is not the forte of any of the fanatical journals, Popish or Protestant: but we do not accuse the Record man of having uttered, to the prejudice of Mr. Punch, the thing that is not, knowing it not to be. We dare say that he has not the most remote idea of what we mean by good music. To him, probably, sacred music is parish psalmody; nothing else, and nothing more; miserable and vulgar tunes married to equally miserable and vulgar verses; such as the doggerel into which NICHOLAS BRADY and NAHUM TATE have presumed to turn the Scriptures, in diluting, corrupting, and rhyming, the songs of DAVID.

The object of the Company will be to test the merits of Inventions calculated to pulpit, accepted by the sect which he represents for bring the War to a conclusion by the

DESTRUCTION OF HER MAJESTY'S ENEMIES,

Sacredness in music, as apprehended by him, is probably what, to any person with an average ear, and ordinary sensibilities, is maudlin dreariness; æsthetically, the same thing as the groaning, and moaning, and whining in the devotional expression. His allowance of ear, however, may be said to be considerably above the average, and in resome inches, the advantage of the "tremendous justice Midas," or the "translated" Bottom.

Their Fleets, Fortifications, and Strongholds; and one of its immediate proceedings spect of both ears we should say that he ought to have, by will be to investigate the

Plan of Lord Dundonald

For the annihilation of Sebastopol, Cronstadt, &c. Early in the next Session of Parliament a Charter will be applied for to enable the Company to try, on their own pecuniary responsibility, any such destructive agent, power, machine, or invention upon the enemy, as they may deem worthy of the experiment, always, of course, with the proviso, that such experiment shall not interfere with any operations contemplated by HER MAJESTY'S Naval and Military Forces. In the event of a demonstration of the capability of the scheme thus tested to answer its purpose, should the Government still neglect it, as they neglect the proposal of LORD DUNDONALD, notwithstanding its approval by

SIR CHARLES FOX,

A Weighty Argument.

WE hear a good deal about the War being necessary to preserve the Balance of Power, which is no doubt the case; but there is another Balance-and a pretty powerful balance it is-which is likely to be destroyed rather than preserved by the existing state of things. There is not a state in Europe which will not find its balance-if it happens to have any in its treasury-seriously jeopardised by the hostilities which have broken out.

PORKERS ON PARNASSUS.

HE fine Statue of SIR
ROBERT PEEL at length
stands in its place in
Cheapside, and the
noble Emancipator of
Corn faces his old

This epigraph excited some approbation, and but
for the envy of other Aldermen and poets, would
have been at this moment on the pedestal. But
it was opposed by ALDERMAN GREENFAT, who,
with a loud voice, read his own composition:-

"To SIR ROBERT PEEL, Bart.,
The City gives applause,
For taking an active part

In taking off the Corn Laws."

friend, the warlike ALDERMAN GLOBULAR thought that both of Emancipator of Catho- these were well, so far as they went, but still lics, The Aldermen he considered that the Aldermen "ought to be brought in somehow," and he proposed to introduce them as follows:

have had sad grief and
trouble about it, how-
ever, and their last
unhappiness has been
about the inscription
for the pedestal. The
only report which has
been allowed to escape
the Court states that
the Fathers of the City

finally resolved that the stone should bear nothing but the name of 'PEEL, with the dates which open and close his history." But it seems that many of the Aldermen had strong feelings upon the subject, and thought that the inscription

"The Aldermen of London

Can appreciate public merit,
So erect this figure of PEEL
On account of his public spirit."
The neatest inscription of all was, however,
tendered by ALDERMAN GHERKINS, who sugges-
ted this-

"Erected to SIR ROBERT PEEL,
Because we think he did a deal
Of service to the common-weal."

A fierce debate, however, arose upon the last word of this composition, some maintaining that it ought to be spelt "wheel," being an allusion to the helm of state, and others-indeed the majority, contending that its initial should be a "v" which produced some sarcasms of the usual civic elegance, in which the changes were pleasingly rung upon veal and calf; and finally, after a great storm, the Meeting sulkily decided that there should be no inscription at all, except what ought to say a great has been mentioned. And this is certainly the deal more. One of right decision, for the less very small men have

them considered that the names of all the civic dignitaries who conspired to do the statesman to say about a very great man the better. this remarkable honour ought to be engraven on the pedestal, as it would naturally add to his fame if the world knew what very great men had thought well of him. Several had prepared inscriptions, for which they fought with much animosity. The kindness of an official supplies us with a copy of these. ALDERMAN GRUNTER moved the following

"He made food Cheap, for which we Sigh'd,

And so this is erected in Cheapside."

Gazette Extraordinary.

HER MAJESTY has been pleased to command that the fashionable mushroom hats are to be called Ladies' All-rounders.

OLD BRICKS AND OLD MORTARS.

YES We are an exceedingly practical people:
The History of England that virtue will show.

We don't trust our eyes, when they say "there's a steeple,"
But, bang, with our noses against it we go.

And not till our noses bleed after collision,

Do we feel we 're entitled to say, with decision,

66

Yes-it is solid stonework, and not a mere vision,"

And the practical proof quite makes up for the blow.

Hence our wars have been triumphs: for, when we commenced them,
We conclusively proved all the stone walls we found,

By gallantly running our heads up against them,

Singing out Q. E. D., as we came to the ground.

Thus we 've proved the Crimea makes bad winter quarters,
And the proof has but cost us an army of martyrs:
To exact the same proof in all Russian waters,

Through our naval campaigns, we by logic are bound.
North-Sea skippers declared that the Baltic was shallow,
So, too, said the charts; but JOHN BULL'S not so flat
As, without some more practical proof, things to swallow,
Ón mere word-of-mouth and eye-witness, like that!
So of man-of-war stations our Whiteball assigners,
Send into the Baltic our first-rates and liners;

If they get aground, Sir,-a fig for the shiners!-
That's a practical proof there are shoals-verbum sat.

Theoretical writers maintain'd, for such waters,

That gun-boats of some six feet draught were the thing:
That Russian forts to the pounding of mortars

(Though they mock point-blank fire) soon "peccavi" would sing.
Mere reasonings that gunboats are needed, we scout them!
Let's have practical proof, first, by trying without them:
To show long guns won't knock the foes' casemates about them,
Long guns, and not mortars, against them we'll bring.
Well, the practical proof-dear to BULL-has been given;
Our liners have grounded, our long guns have fail'd-
With short soundings and stonework in vain we have striven,
Vainly GRAHAM has written, and NAPIER has rail'd.

And at length-Hip-hurrah!-we've got gunboats and mortars;
And now, spite of granite and sands and shoal waters,
Our Tars will soon have their own way with the Tartars:
Sweaborg first, and then Cronstadt will soon be assail'd.

"But hold"-say the theorists-" mortars, 'tis certain,
Will wear out with firing-the fact is well known,"
Is it so? We can't rest on mere random asserting;
By a practical proof we must have the fact shown.
Send our mortarboats out with no relay of metal,
If the mortars fail, mend 'em, as tinkers a kettle;
If they burst-wby, the practical point it will settle,
That honey-comb'd gun-metal's best let alone.

Here, too, we've had practical proof that with firing
Gun-metal will crystallise, duly, and burst;
But who, save JOHN BULL, would have thought of requiring,
Loss of life, and a half-and-half victory first?

But what if we have lost some men by explosion,

If the granite of Sweaborg still frowns o'er the ocean?
We've got practical proof of what was but a notion
Of a few closet-writers, in theories nursed.

Now 'tis fact, that old officers wear like old iron,
And this fact Mr. Punch in JOHN BULL'S head would fix;
With old mortars our arsenal yards we environ,

Why not with old mortars get rid of old bricks?
We have gouty old admirals, cranky and crusty,
Peninsular heroes, grey, mildew'd, and musty:
Let us not wait for practical proof how untrusty
A WELLINGTON's self grows at sixty-and-six.

The glorious old boys! Punch profoundly respects them.
He knows what they have been, but sees what they are:
Their duty to do, he, like England, expects them-

Which is to lie up, and nurse chalkstone and scar.

Let them warm their old bones in the sun, and have pensions-
JOHN BULL can afford it-of monster dimensions,
And like NAPIER, confining to print their pretensions,
With insular pen wage Peninsular war!

OBSERVATIONS ABROAD.

POUNDING OF SWEABORG,

THE trembling Baltic shore
With a volcanic roar,

The fast and furious cannonade astounds;
Thousands of bombshells fly
Across the smoky sky,

In every one of them-there goes five pounds!

But pitch away the cash,
And may the death-bolt crash
Into as many little bits of bomb;
Those fragments, every part,
Reaching a Russian's heart,

As there are farthing pieces in the sum.

The more gold we expend,
The more Cossacks we send

TO NICHOLAS, who loosed them on mankind.
How much of life we save,

In smashing every slave,

To work a Tyrant's murderous will design'd!

Delightful is the note,

From the blazing iron throat,

Answering the Muscovite byæna's yell,
When, Liberty to crush,

The brandied Helots rush,

Mow'd down before our batteries pell-mell.

Those mortars are the things,
Upon Destruction's wings,

The telling kind of messenger to send;

Those, who to no discourse

Save that of mere brute force,

Their stupid, savage, servile ears will lend.
More mortars! send out more,
Burn arsenal and store,

Let the shells scatter death on every side;'
Among the slaves, to show
Their CZAR that he is no

Colossus that shall all the world bestride.

Work, founders, work away,
There will be much to pay:

If there's as much to show we'll cry "Content!"
Sink, burn-that-War may cease,

Kill and destroy-for Peace;
Spend money, that less money may be spent.

A PROBABLE GLUT OF GENIUSES.

AN anonymous individual, who is quite right in concealing his name, has given 10,000 francs, some £400, to be distributed in prizes to men of letters of every degree, and of every nation. We tremble to think of the number of geese that will be sacrificed to provide quills for the myriads who will rush into manuscript on the chance of obtaining a share of the proffered plunder. The highest prize is one of £40, for the best novel, consisting of not less than 50,000, and not more than 60,000 letters. We suspect that even the successful competitor will starve before an award can be made, for the arbitrators cannot come to a decision until they have counted all the letters in all the novels that may be sent in for adjudication; and when this operation has been gone through, it will be necessary to read every one of the million manuscripts that will pour in upon the harassed judges.

PERHAPS there is no more striking difference between the gross English and the refined French than in the matter of eating. "Les Anglais !-Mon Dieu! Comme ils mangent!" When all this has been done, there will still says your Parisian, and with reason, no doubt. For young MR. BULL would, in all probability, remain the task of appropriating some £200 have gone the length of eating an egg and a piece of dry toast, or even a rasher of bacon, among the authors of second rank; and as the with a cup of tea, by way of breakfast; whereas the young fellows in the picture have had numbers of those who come off second-best in nothing in the world but a couple of fowls, with nice greasy sauce-a dish of cutlets, accom-real horror on the task that has been imposed on the literary world are incalculable, we look with panied by mushrooms, olives, and cockscombs-a melon-a bowl of eggs beaten up with those who have been appointed to adjudicate. truffles-about a pint of currant juice and iced water-a large crayfish, or lobster, a bottle of ordinary red wine, some salad, with plenty of oil, four peaches, two apricots, a dish of potatoes à la maître d'hôtel, two cups of coffee and some rum, a yard and a half of bread, and just a handful or so of radishes, a few almond and ratifia cakes, and a dozen lumps of sugar! How DELICATE SWELL (holding up his long coat premuch more delicate and sensible is such a meal! And yet, somehow or other, at the age of vious to running over a dirty crossing). "Good thirty, a Frenchman is generally obliged to wear stays to preserve his figure, and he has no gracious! I hope to goodness no Lady will see digestion to speak of. my ancles!"

MODESTY WHERE LEAST EXPECTED.

JUSTICE PARSONIFIED.

Reverend Gent. "AS FOR YOU TWO COLLINS, YOU HAVE BEEN FOUND GUILTY OF THE HEINOUS OFFENCE OF LEAVING YOUR WORK TO SEE A REVIEW, AND AS YOU DON'T SEEM SORRY FOR IT, I SENTENCE YOU TO FOURTEEN DAYS' IMPRISONMENT IN CHELMSFORD GAOL, WITH HARD LABOUR." (Fact!)