BARNUM FOR PRESIDENT. (From the New York Freeman.) World, slavering over a loathsome dwarf, and enriching him with a colossal fortune, while men of genius were starving, neglected in their garrets. Such was the THUMB tour, and the deed alone entitles BARNUM to claim the suffrages of republicans. We fearlessly and fervently echo that demand. Not for his efforts T is with no ordinary to honour the sacred name of WASHINGTON, by honouring even the pleasure that we an- aged negress on whose dusky bosom the liberator's infantine form had nounce a new candi- lain,-not for his endeavour to confer upon the agriculturists of our date for the Presiden- colder provinces the invaluable boon of an animal that could contend tial chair of this great with the icy wind-we allude to his introduction of the Woolly Horse and enlightened Re--not for his graceful tribute to the reproductive talent of the Republic, public; and we shall when he gathered around him the childish loveliness of our States, and be much surprised if rewarded the most exquisite of the baby forms with a prize the sickly the news that the seedlings of royalty might envy-not for the yet more chivalrous individual in question courtesy with which at this moment he proffers the golden apple to the is about to tender female beauty of the nation, but, with a delicacy unknown to regal bimself for this, the courts, he covers that beauty with the veil of the daguerreotype-not most honourable office for all this, but because TAYLOR PHINIAS BARNUM is emphatically an in creation, does not American, a type and a symbol of the glorious Republic, do we echo at once cause the the national cry-" BARNUM FOR PRESIDENT!" heart of every true American to leap with rapture, while tyrants upon the thrones of the old world experience the shudder which foretells impending desolation. The HONOURABLE TAYLOR PHINIAS BARNUM, as will be seen in another part of our columns, addresses the people of America, and asks their suffrages at the ensuing election for President. What the honourable candidate has urged in his own manly, masterly, ay, and majestic appeal, we cannot hope to strengthen by our advocacy. He has there shown with irrefragable force, why he is at this moment the fittest man of all our glorious millions to take the conduct of the State. His one irresistible and logical argument must carry conviction to every bosom. "An American for the Americans," he not less boldly than truthfully says, is a maxim eternal as the undying stars; but his corollary is scarcely less triumphant, namely, the most American of Americans is the man for America." To that title the honourable candidate appears to us fully to make out his claim; and because we believe him to be the complete and noble representative of all that is great and original in the character of our nation, we humbly, but strenuously, proffer him a support which gold would vainly seek to buy. 66 A SPIRITUAL WEEKLY PAPER. THE Spiritual Telegraph is a New York Paper, worth, it would seem, many a rap. In South Nuggetson, however, Vermont State, there are weekly papers" edited and got up wholly by spiritual management ! We are told that a MR. and MRS. MERRILL of that enlightened place have, like JEPHTHA, a daughter-that is, a medium daughter. years old, through whom volumes have been written." "They have an interesting medium in the person of their own daughter, fifteen But this is nothing. "They receive weekly papers printed in imitation of type, and edited by angels;' have no red ink in the house, and never had any: They have seen the Spirit-hand and they have sheets written by invisible hands in red and black ink,' though they which wrote these, seen Spirit-lights, and had many other demonstrations of Spiritual presence." That papers should be edited by angels proves that the printer's devil has, at least in Vermont State, been altogether superseded. Now, by what means do these angels write? With sunbeams? or with quills, plucked and nibbed from their own wings? that may, in some measure, account for the redness of the ink. As for the "Spirit-hand," we can easily imagine what sort of hand this must be, Mr. Punch having, in his varied experience, often seen the sort of hand, of exactly the same crooked pattern, held up in the dock of the Old Bailey. Mr. Punch can, in his own person, almost believe in the possibility of an angel of an editor; but how about an angel of a penny-a-liner? Who is to swallow him? The Nightingale's Nest. The honourable candidate has enunciated his views in words of singular force, and it will be a proud day for the Republic when her state papers are composed in a style which combines the lucidity with the solidity of the diamond. As well might you seek to displace a stone from a wall with the aid of your finger as to disturb his collocation of phrases. He says:-"I own, not with shame, but with pride, that my character is truly American. I glory in the thought that my nature reflects that of the millions to whom I now appeal. I admit that I have the true American admiration for all that I have myself achieved, and the true American disbelief in the achievements of others. So thinks the nation of herself and of her contemporaries, and I adore her A HOSPITAL is about to be built, to be dedicated by way of testimonial for that noble pride. I own that the cold petty dogmas of antiquity, to the melodious-minded Miss NIGHTINGALE; a hospital, in which, on what it arrogantly calls truth and justice, have as little echo in my writes MRS. SIDNEY HERBERT, MISS NIGHTINGALE'S own system of bosom as in that of this glorious Republic. A nation with a mission unpaid nursing" is to be carried out. Mr. Punch will add no word of like ours takes its creed from no less worthy source than its own his to the beauty of the design; for words are not wanted. He will mighty intellectual organisation. I add too, and add proudly, that it is merely, as in blithe duty bound, observe, that those who think gratenot for a freeman to chain himself to what pedants call truth, but by fully and lovingly of the notion of the NIGHTINGALE's Nest will, without the inspiration of anticipatory prophecy, to state facts as he would have loss of time, duly deposit their golden eggs at COUTTS's. When golden them, and then, by his dominant might, to mould them into what he eggs are not forthcoming, the nest may be most cosily lined with bankhas described them. I am an American, and I dauntlessly say, that he notes. best represents America who is bound by no tyrannie fetter, but who bends his knee alone at the shrine of progress and enlightenment." Austria at St. Cloud. To the inherent nobility of this declaration, which has been made THAT capital actor, REGNIER, in the play at St. Cloud, has given a in feebler words by many of our leading statesmen, who have, not always fillip in the face of Austria,-and that too in the presence of France ineffectually, followed out its principle, we can add nothing. But as the and England. In the Demoiselles de St. Cyr, "the policy" of Austria virulent pens of the hirelings of tyrants, will doubtless be let loose, both is named; upon which REGNIER, as Duboulay, after his manner cries in Europe and here, upon the honourable candidate, let us forestall "O Austria! Austria!" QUEEN VICTORIA laughed-the EMPEROR some of their venom. It will be scoffingly said, that MR. BARNUM has chuckled in his own hearty way-and PRINCE ALBERT roared! It is been a showman. He has-nay, he is one at this hour, and millions of said that the Austrian Ambassador has asked for an explanation of dollars attest to his success. Is this a reproach in a land of liberty the government of France, and has been respectfully referred toand equality? From the haughty Ten Thousand, the miserable carica- M. REGNIER! Very Honourable of Him. tures of English and French aristocrats, we may expect the taunt-we should blush to think that a true American would think less of his President because he had made his fortune by exhibiting the wondrous creations of Providence. No, we will not answer this. But it will be MR. DISRAELI, in the course of rather a severe article in the Press, urged that he has lowered his dignity as a man by attending a wretched on LORD PALMERSTON'S levity, makes amends by saying "The PREMIER dwarf from Court to Court in the Old World, and accepting the has resolved to show the country that he thinks the Comic History of gold and jewels of "patrons." Patrons! The THUMB tour was the England the best extant." This handsome admission that, after all, noblest work ever done by an American freeman. It was a death-blow LORD PALMERSTON's judgment is sound on subjects of real importance, at kings and king-ships. BARNUM has solemnly declared, upon the does credit to the candour of a political opponent; and Mr. Punch is glad unstained honour of an American citizen, that his only object in taking to see that even amid the asperities of controversy, the Ex-CHANCELLOR the unhappy monstrosity to Europe was to humble crowned heads by OF THE EXCHEQUER does not endeavour to inflict real injury, as he exposing their folly and weakness, and to show them to the New might have done, by accusing the PREMIER of holding a reverse opinion. A LIGHT CAVALRY CHAUNT. I've a chako that won't stay a-top of my pate; And to turn round is more than I'd venture to do. With my tol de rol lol. I'm all buckles and buttons, and brass-work and belts; When we trot, my horse blows-when we gallop, he melts; And as with long stirrups we're forced for to ride, I can't shift my weight on his back if I tried. With my tol de rol lol. My carbine to look at is all you'd desire, But it's too long to load, and too heavy to fire. I've a beautiful sabretash dangling at heel; With any light troops in the world I will show, As a beauty to look at, a bad 'un to go. In short, I'm turn'd out, as the Horse Guards may boast, For the minimum work, at the maximum cost. With my tol de rol iol. But there's one thing the Horse Guards can't do, try their best, That's muzzle the pluck in an Englishman's breast. Then here's pensions and peace to Peninsular men, BOMBARDMENT OF SWEABORG. (From the Invulnerable Russe.) SALARY FOR A SHARP YOUNG MAN. SHARP young men of business appear in a commercial sense to be flat. Here is an advertisement from the Times, whence it would seem A SUPPLEMENT to the above journal contains the following despatches that in the labour market they are quoted at a very low figure : from the commander of Sweaborg. They are dated 29th of July WANTED, a sharp YOUNG MAN, thoroughly acquainted with the (otherwise August 10). The enemy's fleet, consisting of 150 ships of the line, 120 mortar boats, and 230 gun-boats, anchored at 9 and 11 A.M., and opened fire. They fired from 500 to 520 shots a minute, but with no effect. 2'40 after midnight.-The fire of the enemy has become so heavy that three mortar-boats have been shattered to pieces by the recoil, the crew of which were picked up by the boats of the ships of the line. The enemy has already lost 10,000 shells. 5-55 A.M.-A shell has fallen upon a spirit shop, and the conflagration of twenty hogsheads of raki is the consequence. Nothing can exceed the enthusiasm of our brave soldiery, who burn for the hour of vengeance. 815 A.M.-A rocket has just entered a chemist's, and an explosion followed. The chemist's unfortunately adjoining an oil and pickle shop, the flames have spread. The conduct of our troops is excellent. 10:25 A.M.-A shell has burst in a barrel of tar, in close proximity to a powder magazine. The impending destruction was stayed by the heroic BOMBADIER WAGHISOWNCHINOFF, who flung himself into the burning mass, and, at the cost of his life, and with incredible coolness, extinguished it. His ashes have been preserved, and, duly enshrined in an urn of platina, will be dedicated to ST. ANDREW. 12:30 P.M.-The enemy has brought up all his boats, but, thanks be to ST. NICHOLAS, has done nothing of consequence. 1 P.M.-A lucifer match manufactory caught fire, but the flames have been extinguished by a milkmaid (name not given). 2 P.M.-The enemy have withdrawn all their ships, mortar-boats, and gun-boats that have escaped. All our batteries are consolidated in their foundations by the thunder of the enemy. Casualties.-One Cossack missing. examination floor, Custom House, and Dock Business. Salary about £30 per annum. Address full particulars to A., 146, Leadenhall Street. Perhaps the hours during which it is proposed to work the sharp moderate salary is to be a superaddition to board and lodging, with young man daily at £30 a-year are few in number: or perhaps that treatment as one of an uncommonly happy family. It is rather unreasonable to expect the services of a sharp young man on terms not exceeding those which would be expected by an able-bodied labourer; and the sharp young man who would accept them would probably be discovered by his employer to be, in regard to any property he might be intrusted with, considerably more sharp than honest. The Rule with many Government Places. THE height of the place is not always in proportion to the merit that fills it. You frequently see a weak person in a high place, and wonder to yourself how he got there. But do not be discontented-at a dinnertable is not the highest seat invariably occupied by the most childish? AS SURE AS A GUN. THERE used to be a doubt as to the value of guns when brought into operation against walls, but recent events at Sweaborg have proved that an English mortar is more than a match for any quantity of Russian bricks. BONNETS AND BIRTHS.-The present style of Bonnet is certainly not of a Malthusian character, for since they came into use there have been more hairs-apparent than ever. HINTS FOR CONTINENTAL TRAVELLERS. (By our own Tourist.) T this season of the year, everybody who can afford it, together with many who can't, will besiege the Rail way or the Steamboat Station at London Bridge, for the purpose of indulging in a Tour. Some seek to bury their cares in the bosom of Gravesend, with its shrimps, its Rosherville, and other cheap attractions, while others carry their blighted hopes to Margate, and endeavour to efface bitter memories by transferring them to the uniform, which but for their obtrusiveness might make one fancy they belonged to a corps de reserve. The landing of the luggage from the steamboat is a great military operation, for not a sac de nuit can be passed through the Custom House without a series of evolutions performed by gentlemen in handsome regimentals, and who, to do them justice, combine the civil with the military in an eminent degree. The table d'hôte at the Calais Station affords the traveller, who is going on by the fast train, an opportunity of purchasing half-a-crown's worth of experience, for he will have just time enough to pay three francs for a dinner which he has no time to eat. The traveller should beware of entering too speedily into friendly relations with a class of gentlemen holding commissions from themselves, and taking the title of Commissioner, who if he is an Englishman, will attach themselves to him and follow him wherever he goes. If he knows what to do, they will tell him, in indifferent English, what he is doing, and when he has done it they will touch their hats and ask to be paid. If he does not know what to do, or where to go, they will walk about with him until they have got the keys of his luggage, and he will then be completely in their hands. The Commissioner is from that moment the "master of the situation," the traveller will find no escape until he is fairly off by the train. sands. Some there are whose pursuit of pleasure or oblivion runs in another channel, or rather in another part of the channel, for they will On arrival in a Continental city, be it Paris cross the sea from or Brussels, or any other, you will naturally go Dover to Calais or to see everything that is to be seen. On these from Folkstone to occasions avoid taking a stick for your companion, Boulogne. On reaching the shores of France, the tourist will find them guarded by a strong for a stick is always disagreeable, most especially force of custom-house warriors, each armed with a sword, and dressed in full military when you have to pay a couple of sous for uniform. The experienced traveller will recognise among this corps some veterans who leaving it at the door. It has been said that a have been long in the service of their country; and there is one who was present at the horse can eat his own head off, but this operation taking of a carpet-bag from a party of English as far back as 1840, when an attempt was is more rapidly performed by a gold mounted made to introduce some British calico into France. Our ally is indeed a great military cane, which eats off its head in less than a week, nation, for even her beadles in her churches are armed with warlike weapons, her police are if a penny is paid every time it is left in a invested with swords, and even the touters from the hotels appear occasionally in a sort of porter's hands. AN ENTIRELY NEW HOSPITAL. THE proposed NIGHTINGALE testimonial announced in the Times-a hospital served by unpaid nurses under her direction-is a tribute, the idea of which we regard with feelings far different from those with which we contemplate the gold salver voted to the arch-rogue of a railway company, or the tea-service and slippers presented to the clerical humbug. Indeed, we are rather ashamed at having named such very dissimilar things in the same sentence. If the public gives Miss NIGHTINGALE a hospital, it will acknowledge the good she has done by giving her more of it to do. Virtue, in this case, will be its own reward, but the case will be, that one of extremely rare occurrence, wherein the meritorious party can enjoy the recompense. The sufficient military hospital, also advocated by the leading journal, is an institution of which not only is the establishment desirable, but the want is infamous. It may, therefore, be feared that the suggestion for the foundation of such a hospital will not be adopted by any Ministry. But there is a description of infirmary whereof the notion might very possibly find favour with a British Cabinet. Many of our enlightened aristocracy, among them, we believe, LORD ROBERT GROSVENOR, support a place of provision for the treatment of disease by doses of medicine imperceptibly larger than the ultimate particles of matter. Of course, these fashionable philosophers and wise ladies have studied anatomy, physiology, and pathology, and have thence been enabled to discern that HUNTER and ABERNETHY were two humbugs, and that HAHNEMANN was not one, for clearly he was one, if they were not two. and directions for use. As Government not only permits the sale of quack medicines, but encourages it by sealing them with the stamp of its approbation, it of course thinks the self-prescription of specifics a form of medical treatment proper for the public at large, and must therefore approve of a hospital in which the indigent sick may relieve themselves of their maladies by the same practice. PEACE UPON CRUTCHES. THERE is a very pretty story of the War that we hope foreshadows the conditions of a peace. On the attack of the 18th on the Malakhoff, CAPTAIN M., a Frenchman, and CAPTAIN S., a Russian, meet and exchange the "usual compliments" with sabres. Both are hurt; and the Frenchman is made prisoner. Both are sent to Odessa: again both meet. The Frenchman is cured of his wounds, is hale and strong; but the Russian is still upon crutches. However, the old combatants recognise each other; embrace; and become such friends that, when they part, they separate with weeping eyes! What a pity that men do not embrace before fighting, that no fighting may come of it! Is it not so, MR. GLADSTONE; is it not so, MR. BRIGHT? We know that both of you will say ay," and so says Punch; but since this cannot be; since the CZAR, strong upon the wrong side, will cross his sabres, let us hope that, with the Russian CAPTAIN S., he may have the worst of it. We can only embrace Russia with safety, when we embrace her upon crutches. Austria Slandered. A homoeopathic hospital is not, however, what we are now alluding to, although the ruling powers might be likely enough to entertain the proposal of that. We mean a hospital of an entirely novel character, albeit conducted on medical principles which have long been recognised officially. This is to be a hospital without physicians, surgeons, SOME evil-disposed foreign journals have stated that Austria had or an apothecary. One medical officer is to serve for all three. That remonstrated with KING BOMBA on the wholesome punishments individual shall be the Patent Medicine Vendor. He shall supply the introduced, under royal patronage, into Naples and the Two Sicilies. patients with whatever remedies they may choose to demand, they There is no truth whatever in the malignant report. "Spare the rod having to prescribe for their own cases. To enable them to manage and spoil the child," says high authority. Spare the stick and this not very difficult matter with perfect ease, let them be furnished spoil the subject," thinks Austria. It is understood that KING BOMBA with plenty of advertisements of various and rival pills, ointments, will continue to use the stick until compelled on his own account "to mixtures, balsams, elixirs, tinctures, &c. &c., including testimonials cut it." Printed by William Bradbury, of No. 13, Upper Woburn Place, and Frederick Mullett Evans, of No. 19, Queen's Rod West, Regent's Park, both in the Parish of "St. Pancras, in the County of Middlesex, Printers, at their Ufice in Lombard Street, in the Precinct of Whitefriars, in the City of London, and Published by them a: No. 85, Fleet Street, in the Parish of St. Bride, in the City of Tondon.-SATURDAY, September 1, 1855. PUNCH AT BOULOGNE. Henry VIII., Act iii., Scene 2. A PARISIAN SOLEMNITY. OUR Parisian contemporaries have been full of glowing descriptions of what they termed the "solemnity" which took place at the Grand Opera on the occasion of the QUEEN's State Visit. The solemnity consisted of a trio from William Tell; some variations sung by CRUVELLI; an étincelant bolero; le galop cosmopolite; and, by way of conclusion, le fameux Gode Save the Queen. Our vivacious neighbours have an odd idea of a cc 'solemnity" when they describe by such a term a sort of medley performance, in which a bolero and a galop formed the principal ingredients. We could conceive the title of "solemnity" being given to a selection from the Old Masters, whose Ops. present the most ponderous specimens of abstruse counterpoint; but to attach the notion of anything solemn to an entertainment comprising sparkling boleros and cosmopolitan galops is an idea we cannot realise. We can imagine a solemnity made up from the labours of the old contra-pointists, but there is a vast difference between the galop of modern date and the slow coach movements of the ancient harmonists. With our mercurial neighbours, however, everything is a solemnity, if it has any object beyond the moment; and as such we are willing to accept every incident connected with the visit of the QUEEN to the FRENCH EMPEROR. IDIOSYNCRASY OF THE CZAR.-SOME people faint at the smell of cheese: a cat in a cupboard will make others uncomfortable. The EMPEROR OF RUSSIA, who can swallow any quantity of train-oil, is thrown into fits by the mere mention of a box of Sardines. a little remorseful about St. Helena, gazed with reverent softened eyes at what covered so much dust-dust, that once burned with the AUGUST 27.-Boulogne has scarcely been in bed all night; the town bolts, every bolt bringing down some throne. One the thunder could quickening might of myriads! That right hand had hurled thundermay have taken twenty winks, but before cock-crow was wide awake not reach, but still fell short, still went down into the deep that still and doing. When VICTORIA flashed along the Port to the railway hissed in scorn. And now, the gentle woman who adorns that throne, terminus, she just left a lambent stream of light behind her to mark in her very gentleness embodying the calm strength of England, comes her way, but that was all. Boulogne saw nothing of the royal counte-to the coffin of the dead enemy of her land; and in his coffin-the while nance-nothing of the royal smile, that, during the absence of the sun the organ peals old England's anthem-buries all dead enmities. Such from foggy England, ripens the royal peaches in the royal gardens. an incident is, in its solemnity, the very religion of history. Painters Therefore, Boulogne resolved, on the return of the QUEEN, to embark historical, prepare your palettes! for faithful Albion, to have a good stare at HER MAJESTY by day-light, moon-light, and fire-light. To this end, the sun of sunny France vouchsafed its brightest lustre-(it could not have been finer on the morn of Austerlitz)-whilst the moon, with a gentle pale face, sweet and fair as EUGENIE's, looked mildly down; and yet the same moon that shone on Agincourt! The fireworks slept like dragons in sheets of paper, ready to spit and sparkle with the first "Promethean touch." Boulogne was so full, that many families slept with their feet out of Hotel windows-English all; a fact easily, and withal painfully, communicated to the Gallic beholder by the clumsiness of the sleepers' shoeleather. One enthusiastic solicitor from Thavies' Inn could be accommodated for a bed with nothing more extensive than a knife-board; but being professionally accustomed to make much of a little, he was overheard to assure his friend KNAGGS (of Furnival's) that he couldn't have slept more sweetly on a woolsack. Perhaps, indeed, he got up all the sharper for that knife-board! Punch changes paragraphs, and is again at Boulogne. At five o'clock, a cannon boomed forth-" Here she comes!" She comes "she comes"-bellowed another and another. "She is come," another bellows, with thundering satisfaction. The magnificent QUEEN has returned to Boulogne, and Boulogne fetches a long breath! There can be no doubt of the magic influence of Paris on the QUEEN OF ENGLAND; yes, and on the QUEEN's first and most dutiful subject, PRINCE ALBERT, late of Saxe-Gotha. The Boulogne mind discerns even in the improved bonnet of the QUEEN OF ENGLAND the blessed influence of the Paris visit. The QUEEN's brow is more ample; a tablet enlarged to hold greater memories: the QUEEN's eyes were blue as the sea at its bluest,-but now, as the sea, they are deep. HER MAJESTY has devoured so many wonders, that she has become exalted beyond mere Britannic royalty. She has eaten and drunk of the ambrosia and nectar of Paris, and her mien, her looks, declare the influence of the celestial fare. So speculates and resolves, the philosophic mind of Boulogne ! It touched the British bosom tenderly, musically, so musically, that the British heart-strings, vibrating to the sentiment, softly murmured In a few minutes, and the QUEEN is prepared to review the troops God Save the Queen-to mark the hospitable, the affectionate preparations on the Sands. The Champ-de-Mars had been honoured in Paris,-why made to welcome the Bonne Petite Reine. She had shot through Boulogne not the Champ-de-Neptune in Boulogne? There were the compact like a sunbeam onward to Paris; she had beheld, to the astonishment fellows drawn out, drawn in; and all of them very plainly understanding of the dust of grandfather GEORGE THE THIRD, the capital of his their business; a truth Mr. Punch was immediately convinced of, when natural enemy; she had beheld, and wondered; and was now returning, he observed FIELD-MARSHAL PRINCE ALBERT give an approving nod. filled and lustrous with the splendours she had gazed upon! The The MARSHAL seemed particularly pleased with the marvellous moveglories of the Hôtel-de-Ville must still float about her-the glitter of ments of the Chasseurs de Vincennes, who treat war as a practical the thousands of bayonets, glistening in the Champ-de-Mars, must joke, and, would have as much fun and no more in dislodging monkeys make a halo around the royal bonnet. QUEEN VICTORIA, an excellent from a sugar plantation as in routing regiments of Russians. In fact, little QUEEN, landed at Boulogne, and went on her rapid way to Paris. to a Chasseur, a mounted Don Cossack is no more than a monkey on But now she returns, glorified, sublimated by the homage, the raptures pony-back.-Nothing can beat the good-temper of these fellows: they of the past week,-and, par Dieu! she is now not only une bonne petite crack a skull as a good joke; and to their teeth bullets are merely reine, but une reine magnifique! For, bad she not gone, hand in hand sugar-plums. If there be "dogs of war," then are the Chasseurs war's with the EMPEROR, to the coffin of NAPOLEON? Had not BRITANNIA, playful puppy-dogs! The review ended, and, it is said by some who |