not had time entirely to disentangle and comb out the milingtary's periods, so may now consider, with some justice, that he need not as to discover whether what they are intended to mean really refutes Mr. LAYARD, "despair of the Commonwealth." In the mean time the cat but at first sight it does appear that in some cases adduced by that gentleman, the of LORD ROBERT B., if he keeps one, will do well to leave rules of routine were complied with, and that it was not by mere wealth and her situation with the greatest diligence, or at least refrain interest that certain lucky officers obtained their last promotions. A thousand from catching mice on his Lordship's premises on Sunday. such corrections would not alter the conviction of the nation that wealth, rank, and influence do obtain the military prizes unfairly; nor will all the vinous eloquence of the Parliamentary soldiers, supported, as on Friday, by swaggering declamations from the head of that host of Lords at present in office, change JOHN BULL'S opinion, that if the "Gentlemen of England can do nothing better than ruin an army, the Plebeians ought to be tried. But Mr. Punch is quite ready to recommend MR. LAYARD to be prepared with chapter and verse when bringing any accusation against Officers and Gentlemen, for the merciless ridicule which certain recent courts-martial brought upon the class has determined them in future to contest all evidence that would not satisfy the Officers and Gents of the courts of Nisi Prius.

PROSPECTS OF THE COMMONWEALTH.

DISHEARTENED as we may be by some of the phenomena of our glorious constitution, it has one element of which, at least, the aspect is "cheering." That is the Honourable House of Commons. There was a time when Kings could do wrong and did it, and could do it, and could do right and did it not, at which the British Parliament afforded a remedy for the King's evil. They could not set the crowned head right, and they did what they considered the next best thing; as surgeons do with an incurable leg. Not in a like, but in as effectual a manner, we may hope that our present House of Commons will get rid of blockheads administrative-and why? It evinces, in quite a 'cheering measure, the very spirit of the old Puritans.

66

A CLANRICARDE TO THE RESCUE. THE affectionate attention of the British public having, naturally enough, been turned to the MARQUIS OF CLANRICARDE, it is no less kind than commercial in the newspapers to give us the earliest and the minutest intelligence of the distinguished peer's distinguished movements. The following is the latest news (via electric telegraph) from

Ireland:

"The MARQUIS OF CLANRICARDE is detained at Lough Rea by his duties as Colonel of the Galway Militia, and his Lordship is not expected in town until the first week in May. The Galway Militia has been much reduced by 150 of the privates having volunteered for the line; but, under the able management of its colonel, the regiment is fast regaining its strength."

The spirit of the reader is a little depressed and darkened by the intelligence that the Noble MARQUIS is still "detained at Lough Rea," but is raised and tightened by the sequent news that he may be expected in town, though not "until the first week in May," beautiful May! We may expect CLANRICARDE and the chestnut blossoms about the same time. We are glad of this; for we begin to fear that the Noble MARQUIS had resolved to withdraw himself from the House of Lords, having requested the EARL OF CARLISLE to wipe the MARQUIS's name from the Irish Lord Lieutenants; it was feared that he might-in an evil hour for the moral strength and beneficent example of the country-humbly pray HER MAJESTY to use the royal penknife to scratch his name out of the Peerage. These fears are, happily, groundless; the Noble MARQUIS still devoting all his chivalrous energies to the service of the United Kingdom. How noble, too, is the influence of high example! The above informs us that "the Galway Militia has been much reduced by 150 privates having volunteered into the line;" all of them, no doubt, irresistibly stimulated to the heroic act by the moral and mental influence of the brilliant head of the regiment. However, the gaps in the Galway Militia are as speedily filled as made; hence, with such a man for Colonel, as a CLANRICARDE, the Galway Militia may be made an inexhaustible receiver for the line. In fact, the character of the MARQUIS of CLANRICARDE appearing as Colonel of the Galway Militia, has been no less prophetically but beautifully foreshadowed in the "Happy Warrior" of WORDSWORTH. The whole piece is too long to quote; but there are some lines of felicitous significance. "Who is the Happy Warrior?" asks the poet; and then among other qualities that make him, says he is one

"Who if he rise to station of command,
Rises by open means; and then will stand
On honourable terms, or else retire,

And in himself possess his own desire;
Who comprehends bis truth, and to the same,
Keeps faithful with a singleness of aim!"

The reader knows there is much more of the same sort; and all equally applicable to the moral dignity of the Noble and Gallant Colonel, as recently illustrated in Dublin. By the way, it is said, that the Noble MARQUIS has presented some of the waste parchment, used in the HANDCOCK case, to the Galway Militia, to head the regimental drums withal. A most valuable gift: for never did parchment make more noise. Could it be rub-a-dubbed before Sebastopol, it must need carry terror to the heart of the coldest Russian.

King Clicquot's Disposition.

ONE of "our own Correspondents," writing from Berlin, says

"Although the King has hitherto declared himself in favour of

neutrality, there are reasons for believing he will be found eventually to evince a disposition for drawing the sword."

LORD ROBERT GROSVENOR, LORD EBRINGTON, and MR. M. CHAMBERS, have, we rejoice to see, introduced a measure no less important in the present crisis than another Sunday Bill. This statesmanlike measure is to prevent butchers and others from supplying food on Sundays after nine in the morning. It further prohibits barbers from shaving their customers after ten. The House was counted out the other day, on a trivial motion touching Army Reform. It will deal differently with a question of a far more momentous bearing on the campaign in the Crimea. SIR JOSHUA WALMSLEY'S anti-sabbatarian resolution for the opening of Museums and Picture-galleries was scouted. This counter-proposition will meet with a converse reception: and no doubt we shall have it comfortably in operation, as proposed, on the appropriate first of November, which is called "All Saints' Day." LORD ROBERT BAREBONE and his brethren having carried their measure, every Sunday will (according to the modern British religion) cease to be a festival of the Church, and become a Day of Fast and Humiliation. Then we shall get on. A LINE ON JOHN BULL AND THE LOAN.-"The skeletons VICTORIA will be victorious, happy and glorious, although CUFFY, in his exile, of nations were around that lo(a)nly man."-Campbell.

Not being table-turners or electro-biologists, we cannot undertake to prophesy what KING CLICQUOT will be found disposed to do "eventually:" but at present we consider he evinces a much stronger disposition for drawing the cork.

THE LORD MAYOR'S FRENCH.

humiliated by affairs abroad, and, worse than all, very much disenchanted of certain impressions on the subject of your Lordship, which led them to urge your appointment to that post which has been the goal of your life's efforts. Nor is this all.

UCH pleasure have we in congratulating the LORD MAYOR upon his acquirements The Voice of the Omnibusses would also inform your Lordship that in the language of France, which we the incredible imbecility, incompetence, and mismanagement which have have no doubt will furnish an additional attended every branch of operations carried on by the Government in guarantee for the durability of the connection with this War, as well as the diplomacy which preceded and French and English alliance. When has accompanied it, have led to grave doubts of the exclusive right to the Chief Magistrate of London is governing authority of that order to which your Lordship belongs. found employing the French tongue- These doubts, I regret to say, seem (I still judge from the Voice of in however small a degree-we may the Omnibusses) to be rapidly ripening into convictions; and these feel assured that the union of the two convictions cannot fail to be followed before long by very unmistakeable nations is likely to be permanent. It action. I do not mean to say that the omnibusses are revolutionary, was, therefore, with a feeling of great or democratic, or subversive, or socialist. They are none of these satisfaction that we found the word things; but they are business-like. They are accustomed to the puissant introduced into the address management of their own businesses. They have been content to leave presented by the City of London to diplomacy to the Foreign Office; parliamentary jocularity and cajolery the French EMPEROR. This graceful to your Lordship; the acquiring of votes and disposing of official places display of lingual research must have to MR. HAYTER. shown Louis NAPOLEON, that his But war involves a great deal of sheer business, such as contracting reception was founded on no mere for, and forwarding stores and supplies; taking up, stowing, and superficial adhesion to forms and ceremonies; but that the citizens had dispatching ships, and so forth. In fact, when the omnibusses take dived into the depths of even the dictionary to do him honour. war to pieces-apart from the fighting, the one thing which has been Scarcely had we recovered from our admiration at the delicacy and well done-they find it to be an aggregate of such acts as most of learning evinced by the use of the word puissant in the civic address, the passengers are daily doing in the carrying on of their own daily when we were further amazed and delighted by finding in the letter of concerns. Of the way these acts are done they will judge,--they have the LORD MAYOR to the FRENCH AMBASSADOR, in acknowledging the judged, I have no doubt most rashly and ignorantly, but you cannot gift of a snuff box from the EMPEROR, another proof of that appreciation persuade them of this in the face of the Horse-guards and the Ordnance, and comprehension of the language of France which had already met the port of Balaklava, the hospitals at Scutari, the revelations before our warmest approbation. In speaking of the imperial gift, the LORD the Sebastopol Committee. They have come to their own conclusion on MAYOR adroitly alluded to it as a souvenir, and though it may be true the conduct of the war, and-it is no use mincing the matter-they that the use of the word souvenir implies no more profound knowledge have pronounced sentence of condemnation on the system which your than can be picked up by looking in upon the needle cases and other Lordship was expected to reform, but which you have shown no cheap muge of the Lowther arcade, there is much tact shown by the intention, no capacity (pray understand it is the omnibusses who say civic potentate in characterising the cadeau of the EMPEROR OF THE SO) of reforming. FRENCH by a word, however common-place, which is borrowed from the language of his own people.

We trust that, by the next time the EMPEROR pays us a visit, the city authorities will have so far progressed in their knowledge of French as to be able to use, not only detached words, but even to enter boldly upon small phrases; and, with this view, we earnestly recommend the addition of the Polyglot Washing Book to the City Library.

THE VOICE OF THE OMNIBUS.

To the RIGHT HONOURABLE VISCOUNT PALMERSTON, &C., &c. MY LORD,

regret its consequences.

I very much fear this condemnation of the system includes a conafraid it is too late to avert the execution of the sentence which the demnation of your Lordship, and of your Lordship's Cabinet. I am condemnation carries with it. But if it be still possible to avert it, there is only one way of doing so.

Your Lordship must really condescend to the 'bus, and listen to what passes on public matters, among us riders in these plebeian conveyances. There is a wide, wide world outside of Belgravia, Piccadilly, May Fair, Whitehall, and the Houses of Parliament. Your Lordship seems to live in absolute unconsciousness of what passes in that world, At least I infer as much from your unfailing jauntiness under discredit, your jocularity amidst disaster, and your perseverance in misfeasance, malfeasance, and nonfeasance, whenever you are called upon to act. I assure you, earnestly, and in seriousness, that all this is profoundly painful to the world I speak of-and that pain is passing, every day, into indignation-and that indignation must ripen into act.

WILL your Lordship allow me to ask (without any intention of giving offence) if your Lordship ever rode in an omnibus? I feel I ought to apologise for the question. I am aware that members of your and surging in a lower class of conveyances-among those who do not Remember I don't go below the omnibusses. What may be seething Lordship's class are not likely to be reduced to these public carriages. ride even in omnibusses-I leave others to tell you. I speak for the I can understand the proper repugnance of a nobleman to come into omnibusses-and the omnibusses have votes. Then do my Lord,-if only contact with persons of that middle class, to which the passengers in for a while-give up your carriage and condescend to the 'bus. such vehicles generally belong. But while I enter into this feeling, I Or if this be absolutely impossible, condemn a dozen of the most As your Lordship is no doubt aware, I am a low person-sprung from intelligent subordinates at your command, to this painful but most the streets, and obtaining a livelihood by amusing the common people. adequately recompensed. Let them tell your Lordship, exactly and urgent duty. Pay them well, of course. The humiliation must be Originally, I walked and carried my show. But my circumstances have from day to day, what they hear in their rides, and you will then be able improved so much of late years that I am now able to ride in om- to judge how far I have accurately represented the Voice of the Omninibusses, without injustice to my family or my tradesmen. Being of a bus in this letter. communicative and enquiring turn, I make a point of listening to the conversation I hear in these rides, and, when I can, of joining in it. It has struck me that it would be of the utmost service, not only to your Lordship personally, but to the Cabinet over which you preside, if you could avail yourself of the same opportunity of ascertaining the feeling of the middle class on passing political events.

It is true, that this might impair that jocularity, of which your Lordship is such a master; and the House of Commons would probably thereby lose many a hearty laugh. I am afraid, too, it might in some degree interfere with your Lordship's self-complacency; and I should not wonder, if it even occasionally destroyed your Lordship's digestion. But one thing I am sure it would do, a thing, as it appears to me, that especially needs doing at this time. It would open your Lordship's eyes. I know how wide the range of those eyes is; that it has swept for many years the courts and the cabinets of the old world and the new. But your Lordship knows the apologue of the astronomer, who, absorbed in his star-gazing, tumbled into an ignominious horse-pond I cannot but fear that your Lordship may be hard upon a similar catastrophe.

My Lord, the Voice of the Omnibusses would inform you that the English middle classes are at this moment very much in earnest,that they are very much disgusted with affairs at home,-very much

I remain, your Lordship's most obedient servant,

--

PUNCH.

Dreadful Effect of Bear's Grease. grease upon ALDERMAN WE regret to hear of the alarming effect of one of the pots of bear's Having innocently devoured the grease, wholly unconscious of its effects, he went to bed; but rose in the morning, clothed from head to foot, in a suit of bear's fur. It is now provided with a sufficient covering for all weathers. supposed that he will immediately give up the alderman's gown, being

TROY AND SEBASTOPOL.

THE Siege of Sebastopol has been compared to that of Troy. There is one important difference between the two sieges: In the latter there was but one NESTOR among the besiegers; in the former there are many, but they unfortunately are NESTORS in nothing but senility.

OUR RELATIONS WITH AUSTRIA AND PRUSSIA.-German Cozens.

THE THEATRE ROYAL, WESTMINSTER.

ON A STRAIGHTFORWARD QUESTION BEING PUT TO THE NOBLE LORD AT THE HEAD OF AFFAIRS HE IMMEDIATELY REPLIED BY SINGING "HOT CODLINGS." (From our own Reporter).

Printed by William Bradbury, of No. 13, Upper Woburn Place, in the Parish of St. Pancra, and Frederick Mullet Evans, of No. 27, Victoria Street, in the Parish of St. Margaret and St. John, Westminster, both in the County of Middlesex, Printers, at their Office in Lombard Street, in the Precinct of Whitefriars, in the City of London, and Published by them at No. 85, Fleet Street, in the Parish of St. Bride in the City of London.-SATURDAY, May 5th, 1965.

A LAMP THAT WANTS TRIMMING.

LESS LAUGHING MATTERS FOR LEGISLATORS. EE what a dingy, sooty, Ir is rather a remarkable fact that the House of Commons is very black, ill-looking utensil often upon what may be called the "heavy grin," notwithstanding it is!" says the Pot on the calamities and degradations under which the country has been one hob, abusing the suffering. We have felt some curiosity to trace the cause of this proKettle on the other. In pensity to laughter, and though Punch's Anatomy of Merriment the same spirit and in may not be so successful as BURTON's Anatomy of Melancholy, we like manner, a Roman have ventured to select a few cases of House of Commons hilarity, Catholic journal called which we have endeavoured to trace to their proper origin. The the Lamp-why not the following relate to a small portion of those repeated bursts of laughter Lantern rather, to the which occurred in the House on Monday the 30th of April, and which glory of GUY FAWKES? seem to promise a time when the Parliamentary Debates shall be and devoted espe- headed withcially to the enlightenment of the people, makes the following observations under the heading of "The May of the Bigots:

ANOTHER SCREAMING FARCE!

CONTINUED ROARS-THE PREMIER IN TWO CHARACTERS

and other cognate catch-lines, which have hitherto been confined to the play bills. It is rather a striking fact that most of the jokes come from the Ministerial benches, so that, in the midst of the gloomy aspect "May is also Jenoon of public affairs, the members of the Government keep up their spirits Feast of the bigots; its to a marvellous pitch of buoyancy. Perhaps the intention is to keep approach is evidenced by up the spirits of the nation by a display of mirthfulness on the part of the usual preponderance of our rulers, and thus counteract the dangerous despondency into which black coats, and white the country might otherwise fall. The first burst of laughter on the chokers in the streets of night we have mentioned was elicited by aLondon, and sundry announcements of meetings in

antiquated bonnets, seedy

Exeter Hall, of Protestant Missions to Evangelise Ireland,' 'Bible Societies,' who said,
Evangelical Alliances,'' City Missions,' &c. &c.; all of which are convened to uproot
their ideal of Popery, and while the faithful of the Church are engaged in acts of
devotion to the 'Queen of Heaven,' the SPOONERS, CUMMINGS, MCNEILS, AND CO. will
be evoking by the most outrageous cant and hypocrisy and calumny, the bigotry and
cash of their unfortunate dupes, to propitiate their insatiate spirit of hate."

It is very inconsistent of the writer of the above to sneer at antiquated bonnets and seedy black coats. What head-dress can be more antiquated than that of female, and what clothes can be more seedy than those of male Roman Catholic Saints? The former were not accustomed to sport fashionable bonnets, and if any such ladies still exist, they do not go about, those who are at large, wearing what should be the covering of the head on the occiput. Many of them being nuns, they patronised hoods extensively; now the hood is a more antiquated thing than any bonnet. As for the Popish Saints of the masculine gender, they commonly rejoiced in apparel which was something more than seedy. It was absolutely dirty and filthy, and that not only as to the exterior. If they wore any sort of collar or choker at all, it was certainly not white. It was the outcropping of very foul linen, usually, so to speak, Irish, as consisting of horsehair. Wherefore, then, should the Genius of the Lamp reproach the opposition Saints with seediness? Should he not rather have upbraided them for not being seedy enough; for not being nearly so seedy as the Saints in horsehair; for being merely seedy and not sprouting, or in a state to sprout, their persons being sown with mustard and cress ?

Whilst the Saints of Exeter Hall are venting their bigotry in the manner above described, the Lamp exhorts its readers to sanctify themselves by the reasonable service which it thus depicts:

"We trust this year that there will not be a single church, chapel, oratory, station, or school in which the beautiful devotion of the month of May will not be practised; let every Catholic dwelling have also its statuette of the Madonna (especially where church or chapel may be too distant) placed in some corner of the room, festooned with flowers, and when the labours of the day are over and the sun is setting, let the lighted taper mingle its rays with the golden sun-set, and let father, mother, children, and inmates kneel together in love to celebrate their devotions for the Month of May.' How sweetly then will May-flowers bloom to them? What graces and blessings will not MARY shower upon them? What music so sweet to a parent's ears as to hear his little ones respond to the prayer, 'MARY, cause of our joy,' Pray for us.'"

Joke of the First Lord of the Admiralty,

"It is certainly not true that the Naval Brigade has been without a chaplain for the last eight months, because the Naval Brigade has not existed for so long a period. (Laughter.)"

The richness of the joke in this case consists in the fun implied in the reason " for the absence of a chaplain, and in the ready wit with which a charge of neglect is warded off by a quibble as to the time during which the neglect has existed. The Naval Brigade not being eight months old is a good excuse for its having been eight months without a chaplain, but is no answer to the charge of its being allowed to remain without a chaplain for any less period.

Encouraged by the success of joke No. 1, the FIRST LORD OF THE ADMIRALTY tried joke No. 2, in reply to a question whether it was the intention of Government to communicate to the House any news it might receive. SIR C. WOOD is reported to have said,

"When a telegraphic despatch mentioned anything of sufficient interest to render it necessary, desirable, or interesting, to communicate it to the House, I have not the slightest doubt my Noble Friend at the head of the Government would do so. (A laugh)." We confess we don't exactly see the point of this joke, which was rewarded by a laugh from the House of Commons, unless the humour of the thing consists in the idea of its being possible to have anything "desirable" or "interesting" to communicate in the present miserable state to which mismanagement has brought our affairs. This very "lively conceit" may have tickled the fancy of our legislators, and rendered it impossible for them to restrain their mirth.

It would seem as if SIR CHARLES WOOD had been determined to monopolise "all the fun of the fair" on Monday evening, for he had not sat down after the manufacture of joke No. 2, before he gave vent to joke No. 3, and was rewarded with the same amount of "laughter" as before. The third sally of wit consisted of the following burst of jocularity :

"I have no objection to state the whole purport of the despatch received to-day. LORD RAGLAN acknowledges the receipt of a despatch from LORD PANMURE, and asks when the Sardinian Contingent is to be sent. (Laughter.)"

What a brilliant joke to be sure; and how very judicious the laughter with which it was followed. The fun of the thing consists first, we Now, let MR. ISAAC SOLOMONS, or let REDSCHID PASHA, or CHEKIB suppose, in the fact of LORD RAGLAN having given no news; and next, EFFENDI, or any other outsider both to Exeter Hall and Loretto, decide in the mention of the Sardinian Contingent, which possibly brought to which are the greatest bigots-those who accuse Roman Catholics of mind the humourous fact of the Croesus having been wrecked in fetichism, or those who propose to them the practice of something so attempting to take the Sardinian Contingent to its destination. "Oh, like it as the above. Probably, SOLOMONS, and REDSCHID, and CHEKIB, my eye, what fun!" seems to be the sort of mental exclamation with would simply consider it absurd on the part of Exeter Hall, to trouble which every announcement of, or allusion to, a calamity, is received itself so much to convert the blackamoors from dummy-worship, when from the mouth of a Minister. We shall expect the reports of the proits missionaries might find such a sufficiency of home employment among ceedings of the House of Commons in the evening papers to terminate those who walk by the light of the Lamp, kindling, thereby, the taper, henceforth, not with the usual words "left sitting,' but with the more with which, by way of devotion, they burn the "golden sunset" before appropriate announcement, a doll.

Political Intelligence.

WE are in a position to state that as soon as the Sebastopol Committee has terminated its enquiry, it is intended to present a copy of the evidence to each of the members of the Aberdeen Administration; so that in case of their return to office they may use it to refer to as a book of precedent. We understand these presentation copies will be suitably bound in red tape, and entitled by a not inappropriate plagiary Our Mess."

VOL. XXV III.

LEFT LAUGHING.

Discovery by the Duke of Newcastle.

AFTER ten months of war, the DUKE OF NEWCASTLE had discovered that there was not the proper understanding between the Admiralty and the Board of Ordnance which ought to exist. This was a small and a late discovery. The country had long before discovered that, as regarded the management of the war, the whole Administration had I between the whole number of them, no understanding whatever.

U

"BEWARE OF THE DOG!"

HAT does the reader think of
the following paragraph, which
is not as might be naturally
supposed an invention of our
own, but is a literal copy of a
recent advertisement?

A LADY, who is leaving
England, wishes to PLACE in a
gentleman's family, in the country, a
handsome and useful DOG, of three
years of age. A comfortable home,
good treatment, an airy situation,
with the range of a large yard would
be suitable. No remuneration is re-
quired. Dog sellers need not apply.
Address to B. C., &c.

It is satisfactory at all events to know that the "lady" is "leaving England," for her tastes are evidently more suited to any country than our own, where we are not in the habit of introducing our dogs as members of "gentlemen's families." There must be a fearful amount of offensive puppyism about this dog, for whom a commercial home is evidently considered low, and who requires a fortable home" with "a large yard"-in other words a house and grounds for his especial convenience. It is strange that the advertiser has not stipulated for a China dinner-set on which the brute is to be served with his meals, but this is probably implied in the intimation that he is to be located in "a gentleman's family." The "lady" seems to have a high appreciation of the social qualities of the dog, for she considerately adds that " no remuneration will be required." This intimation seems to imply that in the opinion of the lady advertiser the privilege of making a canine acquaintance is not only worth having but worth paying for. It is possible that every advertisement meets with some response, but

WHERE IS LORD CLARENDON?

IT seems to be a good deal like searching for a needle in a bottle of hay, to look for LORD CLARENDON. In fact the latter process is more difficult, for though it might be possible, with great acuteness, to catch the needle's eye, there is no catching the eye of the Foreign Minister. If we are asked to prove our words, we refer to a report of a little scene in the House of Lords the other night as furnished by the Morning Chronicle. We give a few extracts which will be sufficient to bear out our statement:

"The EARL OF DERBY said he had seen the Noble Earl the Foreign Secretary on two or three occasions that evening flitting through the House (a laugh), but he had been unable to find any occasion to put a question.

"The MARQUIS OF LANSDOWNE had spoken to his Noble Friend (the EARL OF CLARENDON) a few minutes before, and he had only just left the House. (A laugh.)

"THE EARL OF DERBY. I understood from the Noble Marquis yesterday that the Noble Earl would be here to-day.

"The MARQUIS OF LANSDOWNE. I did not use the word 'to-day. I cannot undertake to say where my Noble Friend is at this moment. (A laugh.)"

It must really be as good as a visit to HOUDIN or any other illustrious conjuror, to see and not to see the EARL OF CLARENDON popping up and popping down, appearing and disappearing in the House of Lords; absent in places where he is looked for, and present for an instant in a spot where he is not expected. The exhibition or nonexhibition seems to have been very effective, and to have given rise to a series of those "laughs" which are now general in both Houses of Parliament. We remember a very good trick that used to be played called L'Escamotage d'une Dame, which is done by placing a lady under a sort of extinguisher, on the removal of which the lady has disappeared in some unaccountable manner. We should be most happy to place an extinguisher at the service of LORD CLARENDON if he would like to try the trick, or perhaps the fun would be increased, and the legislative laughter would be still more general if he were to get a colleague to assist in the Escamotage of a Minister.

A Meteorological Truth.

THEY say "it's an ill wind that blows nobody good"; but really we cannot see that the wind, which has been blowing from the East, ever since the war began, has blown any one any particular good; and we are afraid we shall have to whistle for a long time, before we shall be able to record any improvemeut.

ccm

we confess we should think it doubtful whether any one of sound mind, would be ready to receive a dog on a visit, and permit the brute to make himself at home, as one of the domestic circle. If this sort of thing is encouraged we shall have people advertising "Cheerful Homes for Sad Dogs, with "Lively Society for Melancholy Dogs," A Vacancy for a Select Dog where a few only are received as Inmates."

or

"LORD PALMERSTON. Honourable Member had been in the House yesterday he would have heard the question he has now put satisfactorily answered. (Laughter.)"

Laughter at what? The joke requires explanation. All that can be given, however, is simply this. The hon. member alluded to was MR. BRIGHT; his question was directed to ascertain the precise facts in regard to the late Conferences, and he prefaced it by observing

that he was not in the house on the previous evening when a similar question had been answered by the PREMIER. The reply of LORD PALMERSTON is that if he had been there, he would have heard it answered satisfactorily. Where's the wit ? The answer of the noble Lord was not a retort or a repartee. It may have been correct, but it was not funny or humorous. But then, to be sure, it may have been incorrect: and the House may have laughed at its incongruity with fact; but in that case the laughter would have had a wisdom in it which most people will consider a deeper wisdom than the present "collective."

To Dust-Contractors, Scavengers, and Others. MR. PUNCH hereby gives notice of his intention shortly to advertise for Tenders from persons who are willing to contract for the removal of the dust which is now nightly being thrown by certain Members of the Government in the eyes of any Member for the People who may be bold enough to venture any question as to the shortcomings of the public service.