THE SPIRIT OF YANKEE JOURNALISM. (Distilled from an article on the War in the "New York Herald.")

O be sure, in cipher

ing on the upshot
A SHABBY LIBERAL UNIVERSITY.
of the struggle
now in progress WHILE Oxford and Cambridge are beginning to feel the influence of
between liberty the liberality of the age, the new University of King's College, London,
and despotic power seems liable to lapse into the illiberality of a more antiquated era.
in Europe, our The Professorship of English Literature is vacant, and is likely to
bosoms warm to- remain so unless King's College in its abhorrence of a vacuum, should
wards the cham- offer some more liberal terms than those now before us, for filling up
pions of freedom the vacancy. In the first place, the duties are to be performed by
and justice with "two single gentlemen rolled into one," for the Professor of the
genuine enthusi- English Language is also to be the Lecturer on English Literature and
asm. But then Modern History. In looking over the printed instructions to Candi-
we are located a dates, we perceive at once, that the Professorship of English Language
long chalk from must be vacant, and indeed the English Grammar of the University
the battle-ground, seems to have got completely out of repair, as we shall prove by a few
and we estimate specimens.

the quarrel is no "As Professor," certain duties are assigned, and it is then stated
affair of ours. that "as Lecturer," something must be done "under the general
Heaven forbid direction of the Professor." How a man is to put himself under his
that we should own general directions is rather a puzzle to us, and though self-control
not sympathize may be a practicable virtue, we cannot see how any one can so com-
with our own flesh pletely carry out the theory of the duality of mind as to establish a
and blood, and sort of duality of body, and make himself subordinate to himself in two
that we should separate characters.

obliviate our relations to the great Anglo Saxon family! But we The endowment of the chair is in fact nil, and indeed the office is a calculate that the CZAR holds out to us the right hand of fellowship, sort of eleemosynary professorship, for the "remuneration arises and his friendship is very valuable. We should be unworthy of our wholly from the Fees paid by the Students." The largest of these fees glorious American institutions if we failed to do justice to the enduring are derived from the students of the Department of Civil Service, but courage of that noble race from which we, ourselves, have sprung. as these students amounted to only nine in the last term, the look out But we expect we owe it to those selves of ours to look to the main for the professor is rather a dreary one. After showing the vague and chance in the first place. It is very true that the triumph of the misty source of the emoluments, the Council indulges in a sanguine Russian Emperor would be the triumph of barbarism over civilization. burst of anticipation, and ventures on the remark thatBut we opinionate it is truer that, from the supremacy of Russia, we have much to expect. Unquestionably, the war which NICHOLAS has originated is productive of human misery to a considerable amount. But it has donated us the option of establishing with him a close commercial intercourse.

We do not sympathise with the despot, no, not one morsel. But we reckon he is going to construct 2,300 miles of railway, and he will be obligated to come to us for the needful iron. Far be it from us to wish compute that he will want a steam-navy, to be even with the Britishers, and he has no timber almost but pine; which will make him a good customer for American oak, and also necessitate him to employ our industry in building him screw-steamers. The interruption of commerce, which his ambition has led to, is very lamentable to those who are ruined by it. But at the same time we realize it opens out a field to our physicians, engineers, mechanics, and manufacturers. The war destroys an awful amount of property. But it does not touch our stores. It is attended with the waste of others' treasure, but the multiplication of our own dollars. The fact is melancholy, so it is, when you come to think of it, that so many thousands and thousands of gallant men should be mutilated and perish, that their hearths should be desolate, and that their bereaved relatives should be plunged into affliction and grief. But this dark picture has a remarkable bright contrast; the CZAR's lately annexed territory in Asia, which he is going to throw open to our trade.

to aid and abet him in his schemes of universal domination. But we

"The appointment, it is hoped, will never be worth less than £100 per annum." Hope has frequently told a flattering tale, but even supposing that the Professor and Lecturer should be enabled to pocket one hundred pounds, we think the occupant of the chair would scarcely find the means to supply a most frugal table.

Candidates are required to send in their testimonials just as our friend, the dustman, sends up his medal and his black-eyed dog, and his original bell, for his annual Christmas-box. The testimonials are not to be such as are suited to "any occasion that may chance to must be of the class of persons who are always on the look out for anyarise "-a provision that looks as if the Council felt that the Candidates thing that may turn up, and who carry their written characters about with them. Among other liberal provisions

"The salaries are liable to a deduction of 2 per cent., for the purpose of forming a reserve fund, to meet any excess of expenditure over income; or, in other words, if the Council should get into debt, the Professors must pay for the Council's mismanagement. After reading these particulars, as to the Professorships of this liberal University, we are surprised that we do not find the outside of King's College, London, turned into a broker's shop, with a quantity of chairs constantly exposed for sale on the pavement.

Cobden after Clicquot.

The fields of battle lumbered with dying and wounded, are wicked ugly spectacles, we allow. But our view of the scrimmage is an everlasting pretty look out-the prospect of dealing with that splendiferous WE agree with the Times that the policy which MR. COBDEN recomAsiatic tea-country. It is distressing to think of the unfortunate mended at Leeds is precisely that which KING CLICQUOT has been soldiers starving and dying in the Crimea of cold. But this very iden- pursuing. Although we consider this policy to be unwise and contical cogitation minds us of that fur-country of Kamschatka, which, as temptible, we admit that there is one thing to be said in its favour. regards the advantages of the trade we shall now exclusively enjoy STERNE, in Tristram Shandy, quotes the practice of the ancient with it, stumps Japan. We repeat that NICHOLAS holds out to us the Scythians, in their councils, of debating a question under two opposite right hand of fellowship, and we guess that although it may be a trifle conditions; first, in a state of intoxication, and secondly, in one of red and moist, we can't afford to reject it. We will grasp that hand sobriety. MR. COBDEN is known to be almost a teetotaller: and certhough it is crimson and dripping, and though there are the knout and tainly a policy, adopted by CLICQUOT, and approved by the Member chains in the left. If NICHOLAS beats the Allies, we allot the result for the West Riding, has, at least, had the advantage of a discussion will be European slavery, which will be a pity, but won't be any incom- equivalent to the ancient Scythian. modity to us. It is to our interest that Russia should preserve the entirety of her empire, and drive back her opponents, and therefore, though we regard their heroic struggles with the most generous sentiment, we religiously hope the Autocrat will flog them elegant. If he MR. PUNCH offers his homage to the KING OF SARDINIA, and on does, he will flog half creation. But the other half will be safe under account of his spirited conduct in siding with the Allies against the the star-spangled banner, and the stripes which threaten none but Tyrant, begs to congratulate him on having assumed in the political niggers in the United States. He will chaw up a considerable some of edifice of Europe, a position which is that of a Brick. Mr. Punch will mankind. But the glorious and eternal remainder will be the citizens take the liberty of adding, that he also considers VICTOR EMMANUEL of this free and enlightened republic. May the CZAR, then whip to be the very Trump of War.

Victor Emmanuel!

SUNDAY'S CRUEL FRIENDS.

except that of BACCHUS, which they so vehemently per-
secute and persecution always tends to stimulate the
zeal of its victims.

UPPOSE I were Sunday,
That New Zealander of MR. MACAULAY'S will perhaps
any Sober-minded person, read in an elementary history of England a description of
with a turn for personi- the idol adored by the Sabbatarians under the name of
fication, might say, "I Sunday, couched, it may be in somewhat like the fol-
should not thank the tee- lowing terms;-
totallers and Sabbata-

rians. Save me from my with a stiffly starched, but dirty, white stock clasping the
"This divinity was represented in rusty black clothes,
friends: such friends as
those who met at Not- neck. The hair was long, lanky, and black, resembling in
tingham the other Tues- everything but colour a pound of candles. The whites of
day, in the Exchange
the eyes alone were visible, and the corners of the mouth
Rooms, to petition Par- were drawn down, the complexion was cadaverous and
liament for an act to close sallow, and the whole countenance wore an expression of
public houses during the sorrow and gloom. Sunday was figured with a tract in
whole of that day."
either hand, and a bottle peeping out of his coat-tail
One extreme of fana- pocket to indicate that he was in the habit of indulging
ticism provokes its
himself at home in the refreshment which he could not
posite; and no wonder obtain during an excursion. Sunday is sometimes con-
that, the object of the founded with Genius of Spleen or Melancholy: a mistake
meeting having, after vio-occasioned by his atrabilious appearance, which was meant
lent uproar, been put in to express the results of want of air and exercise."
the form of a resolution,

"A man,

op

named HUTTON,

then proposed, as an amendment, That all churches and chapels should be closed on Sunday? The proposition was received with mingled cheers and hisses.

The Chairman requested HUTTON to withhold his amendment, but the latter persisted in its being put.

"This being done, a forest of hands was held up.

"The original resolution was then put and lost amidst cheers and confusion.

"One of the total abstainers requested the Chairman to again put the amendment, which upon being done, was carried by an immense majority."

The Morning Post, whence the above is extracted, proceeds to state that a regular row ensued, the gas being turned off, and "the greatest confusion prevailing." These edifying proceedings took place in the large hall," which ". was crowded to excess with working men."

The Sabbatarians really make quite an idol of Sunday, and they are endeavouring to compel the rest of the community to conform to their worship. The consequence is, as above shown, that they excite hostility to all worship whatever,

THE CROSS AND THE SWORD.
Sung in character by MR. NICHOLAS.

Or the Orthodox Faith the Defender I stand,
The Monarch of Cossack and Tartar;

With the Cross in my heart and the Sword in my hand,

In the style of a Saint and a Martyr.

The Cross to mankind proclaims peace and good will,
The Sword means my zeal to convert 'em,
No menace whatever to slaughter and kill;

No kind of intention to hurt 'em.

(Spoken.) Oh dear, no! The weapon is simply symbolical, my ! Christian friends; a mystical sword; à figurative sabre; a spiritual cut-and-thrust. It only serves me to smite heresy and schism, and to prick the conscience of unbelievers. I would not use it to stab a flea, beloved, or any other troublesome little enemy of Russia. Such revenge I leave to barbarians like BENJAMIN BOWLABAS, the savage British tailor. I content myself with turning its edge against error, and opposing its point to false doctrine. For

Of the Orthodox Faith, &c.

Understand by the Cross that I'm merciful, meek,
Benevolent, chaste, pure, and holy;

(I couldn't sing thus with my tongue in my cheek)
'Tis as much as to say that I'm lowly.

"Tis a sign of long-suffering, patience, and love,
Which you know to be my disposition;
It declares that I've set my affections above,
And am dead to all worldly ambition.

:

(Spoken.) How about the sick man? To heal him, my brethren, that was my object-to heal the sick: the Christian's commission. Upon my honour! Bosh? Very true. Honour is bosh. It is all vanity. Upon my word, then the word of a Russian gentleman. How about Sinope? A slight bleeding for the sick man, my friends; that was all. Poor fellow! It was necessary that he should lose a little blood. I hope he will recover. I trust he will. I pray that he may. I pray continually. I am always praying when I am not singing psalms. Would you like to hear Te Deum? I have practised that a good deal. They do say I am grand in Non confundar. But I fear they flatter. Yet we should not judge. Methinks I have a reasonable bass voice.

Such is the aspect under which the Sabbatarian Teetotallers are now depicting Sunday, and thus presenting Sunday under an ugly form to the working classes.

On Inhospitable Thoughts In-tent. THE Quarterly Review states that some of the tents sent out by our intelligent war officials for the poor soldiers in the Crimea, were old ones which had actually been used in the Peninsular War, and, of course, having rotted in store for half a century, were utterly useless. It must have been to this Ministerial feat. that one of the slavering eulogists of the DUKE OF NEWCASTLE referred, when alleging the other day that "the Government supplies to the troops would show better the more they were canvassed."

But it does not become me to glory. Pride was not made for man.
Gammon? Very nice my friends-when not too fat. I could dine off
it any day-that is any day but a fast day. Because, you see,
Of the Orthodox Faith, &c.

In my Sword you the symbol of justice may see
"Tis a virtue I carefully study,

I cannot conceive how some Sovereigns can be

So relentless and savage and bloody.

My heart by the Cross in 't is rendered so mild,
Is so softened by tender affection,

That offenders I treat as a parent his child

When he gives it a little correction.

(Spoken.) Who slaughtered the Poles? Who hanged PESTAL? Who had the poor student knouted to death? Who has sacrificed more than half a million of lives in twenty-eight years? One at a time, my friends, one at a time. I wish it were in my power to answer your questions. I assure you the party is a stranger to me. Who flogged the Nuns? The ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY, my Christian friends, out of spite to CARDINAL WISEMAN. Who oppressed the Jews? KING JOHN; my beloved: KING JOHN of England. Who persecuted the Roman Catholics? The English QUEEN ELIZABETH also: and now you behold her successor QUEEN VICTORIA encouraging the Mahometans to torture and kill our poor persecuted brethren of the orthodox faith. I trust she will be brought to a better mind. That is why I have drawn the Sword of Faith here-bearing the Cross of forbearance and resignation in my bleeding heart. Walker? Ah, yes. WALKER is an English name. Bless him! Bless the English! We ought to bless our enemies. My heart, having what it has in it, commands me to do so and I make the utmost endeavours, with the means I hold in my hand, to fulfil the precept; since, my Christian brethren and indulgent hearers: since, as I have before observed,

:

Of the Orthodox Faith the Defender I stand,
The monarch of Cossack and Tartar,

With the Cross in my heart and the sword in my hand.
Don't I look like a Saint and a Martyr ?

VALOUR'S REWARD.-LORD CARDIGAN has come home; and-says the Chronicle-now not the vulgarest demagogue would reproach him with the "black bottle." Very true. We forgive and forget his Lordship the black bottle, seeing how gallantly he has stood the grape.

Old Gent. "I SAY, MY LITTLE MAN, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS HOLD YOUR PONY TOGETHER GOING UP HILL, AND OVER PLOUGHED LAND!" Young Nimrod. "ALL RIGHT OLD COCK! DON'T YOU TEACH YOUR GRANDMOTHER TO SUCK EGGS! THERE'S MY MAN BY THE HAY-STACK WITH MY SECOND HORSE!"

JANUARY 27. 1855.]

[PUNCH, No. 707.