SHROPSHIRE RABBITS.

perhaps the Baronet or the kitchen-maid condescended to call on poor MRS. WELLS (if the former's objection to the marriage has been got over), and signified to her that this is the reason for locking up her old OMETIMES foreigners are at husband. a loss to understand the Mr. Punch depends, of course, upon the accuracy of the report in the almost idolatrous attachment Shrewsbury paper. There is no reason for suspecting that any undue which is manifested by the colouring has been given to apparently simple facts, for SIR BALDWIN humbler classes, in our agri- LEIGHTON is, we believe, a Tory gentleman, and the Conservative's cultural districts, towards Toryism seems preternaturally vivid. We may therefore accept this case the country gentlemen. A of SIR BALDWIN, his rabbit-skins, and his kitchen-maid, as one of those case which we find reported illustrations of agricultural life which should be offered to intelligent by our energetic Protestant foreigners in explanation of the devoted idolatry manifested by the contemporary, the Shropshire British Yeoman towards the British Squire.

Conservative, pleasingly illus-
trates the relations which
produce the ardent devotion
in question-very much in
question.

A GRAND NATIONAL PICTURE.

VERY WIDE OF THE MARK.

THE following grand picture is nearly finished, and will be exhibited A Shropshire Baronet, one at the French Exposition in May. The subject of it is Gulliver and SIR BALDWIN LEIGHTON, of the Lilliputians. You see poor JOHN BULL prostrate on his back-and Loton, (a descendant of a swarm of little Government officials running over him, from the crown TOTILUS DE LETON, men- of his head down to the sole of his top-boots, and busily engaged in tioned in Domesday Book) tying his hands, and pinning him helplessly to the ground, by means of prosecutes his own Game- little bundles of red tape. JOHN has been asleep, but you can observe keeper, JAMES WELLS, at the that he is just waking up, for he has already got one eye half open, and Lent Assizes. The man's besides there is an ominous energy in his right leg, as if he were concrime, as we gather from the centrating all his strength into it previous to striking out with a most report in the above journal, vigorous kick. The execution promises to be very fine. Several porwas the sending two dead traits of the aristocracy are introduced, and amongst some of the rabbits, by his wife, to a prominent figures that stand out, notwithstanding their Lilliputian grocer-friend, named BUD- proportions, the most boldly, can be recognised several prominent GETT. There is no doubt characters who have recently been making themselves notorious in that the two rabbits were the affairs of the East-such as the amiable BOXER, the efficient SIR BALDWIN LEIGHTON'S, DR. ANDREW SMITH, the practical FILDER, the rational MENZIES, and according to that Baronet's testimony, WELLS had no right what- and our very charitable Ambassador at Constantinople. ever to take them, and therefore stole them. SIR BALDWIN, as an economical man, has a perfect right to look after his rabbits, the rather that the Baronet is reported to have sworn thus, The rabbitskins belong to my kitchen-maid, the only perquisites I allow," and, as a moralist, is also fully justified in punishing a delinquent. "MODERN instances" have a strong tendency to the refutation of In fact, it does honour to the Roman sternness of SIR BALDWIN'S the Wise saws " of antiquity. It was an old saying that "every bullet virtue that some circumstances, which might almost have inclined has its billet." On the truth of the adage grave doubt has been thrown a weaker master to spare his servant the disgrace of the dock, by the Special Correspondent of the Morning Post in the Crimea. did not move him. He had engaged WELLS against his better That gallant officer and writer represents a British battery as firing judgment, for, says the report, "I objected to him because heat the distance of 1700 yards" against a steamer which had for a was married, and old." The culprit, when brought before his master long time "annoyed the Inkermann attack with its shot and shell." by a policeman, said, "that he had been in the habit of sending He addsMR. BUDGETT a hare every year, and this year sent him the two rabbits instead, thinking there was no harm in it." MR. BUDGETT confirms this, "has known the prisoner for ten years as an upright, honest man," and from his knowledge of other Shropshire aristocrats adds, "I knew it was the custom of liberal landlords to allow their gamekeeper this privilege." Then ANDREW CORBETT, ESQUIRE, a Magistrate, was able to testify that he had "employed WELLS as his gamekeeper for six years, and considered him a strictly honest, sober, and honourable man." The DUKE OF CLEVELAND'S agent had "known him sixteen years," and on the strength of such knowledge had recommended him to MR. CORBETT, and, finally, the Rector of Wem, whose parishioner WELLS was, had known him for five or six years, as most honest and straightforward man, whose character was beyond all he retires to Egypt. This is not the fact. We understand that praise."

a

But all this presumptive innocence and admirable character weighed nothing with SIR BALDWIN LEIGHTON, who did his duty like a man and a magistrate, stood up for his kitchen-maid and her rabbit-skins, and prosecuted his old Gamekeeper at the Assizes. The Jury convicted him, after nearly an hour's deliberation, adding a recommendation to mercy, and LORD CAMPBELL had to sentence poor old WELLS. Perhaps the hideous enormity of that criminal's guilt did not strike the Judge with such appalling terror as it had done SIR BALDWIN_LEIGHTONperhaps ermine feels a contempt for rabbit-skins-but SIR BALDWIN LEIGHTON and his kitchen-maid were not to be wronged with entire impunity, and though the former at length relented, so far as to join in the Jury's recommendation, JAMES WELLS was sentenced to one week's imprisonment.

"Sixty rounds were fired by the artillery, but only six struck the vessel. The Russians returned our fire with 200 shots from their battery without doing us the slightest injury."

What an awful waste of powder and shot! but if every ball had told, would the waste, on the whole, have been greater or less? Meanwhile, those who complain of the paucity of successful dramatic pieces, should observe how very few hits have been made in the Theatre of War.

Lord Aberdeen on his Travels.

LORD ABERDEEN is about to go to the East. It is given out that penitentially moved, his lordship will go straightway to Scutari to place himself at the disposal of MISS NIGHTINGALE in the hospital. It is supposed that the late premier will be set down to making lint. This is but right. Heaven knows, his policy has made a sufficient number of wounds!

A MOTHER'S ADVICE.

"IF your husband is in the habit of sleeping after dinner, never, as you value good temper, think of disturbing him; because I have learnt this through life, my dears, that if a man is not allowed to take his forty winks,' he invariably feels (s) nappish for the remainder of the evening."

Fritz at the Door.

PRINCE GORTSCHAKOFF has, it appears, moved that the KING OF PRUSSIA, who has been so violently knocking at the door of the Vienna Conference Chamber, should be allowed at last to come in. The PRINCE was induced to make this promise, in consequence of a telegraphic despatch, in the following terms, sent by KING FRITZ to ALEXANDER II. : Tell 'ee what it is. If don't open door, blest if don't pick lock with corksh-crew."

In the days when horse-stealing was a capital offence, an unfortunate thief, on receiving his sentence, murmured his unnatural complaint that it was rather hard he should be hanged for stealing a horse. The Judge was held to have made him an unanswerable answer. You are not hanged for stealing a horse. You are hanged that horses may not be stolen." This view of the case, no doubt, consoled the felon, and he went, exultingly, to the gallows. It is to be hoped that SIR BALDWIN LEIGHTON, or at least his friend the kitchen-maid, went with this little drop of comfort to WELLS's cell in Shrewsbury gaol, and explained to the married, honest, upright, old Gamekeeper that he was not disgraced A CONTRADICTION.-If Truth is to be found in the Bottle, how can and imprisoned so much for sending two rabbits to a grocer, as that she, also, live at the bottom of a Well? For ourselves, we should say rabbits (at least Loton rabbits) might not be sent to grocers. Or that there is something fundamentally wrong in this.

CARLISLE le Debonnaire, is about to make his solemn, Vice-Regal entry into Dublin, to the delight of that loyal, impulsive, and affectionate city. Nothing can more happily illustrate the affectionate feelings existing and increasing between England and Ireland, than the accession of HIS EXCELLENCY VICE-KING CARLISLE to the throne of Phoenix Park. We think of other times of rule; of other Vice-Kings; and straightway we think of the triangles. We reflect upon the accession of CARLISLE THE DEBONNAIRE, and we hail in the event, the assurance of the gentlest, and the kindest, the best-tempered of potentates. We believe it would give his Majesty very acute pain to say "No" even to a highwayman; who indeed, were he to demand of the KING OF DUBLIN "Your money or your life!" his Majesty would make courteous answer, "whichever it may be most convenient for you to make available."

TAKING PLACES IN PARLIAMENT.

MEMBERS of Parliament are naturally anxious to get into snug places, and we are therefore not surprised at a conversation that occurred in the House of Commons the other night on the subject of securing places, which it seems is found to be rather difficult. A Member may, it appears, get a good place if he will subject himself to a sort of religious test by attending prayers; but a complaint has been made that this display of external piety will not secure a snug place for the whole of the evening. Perhaps it would be advisable to adopt the same system as is pursued at some of the theatres, where the payment of a small fee will be the means of retaining a place to the end of the performances.

66

66

It

The House of Commons might easily engage a few place-keepers, who might call out the name of the " party that had taken the place such as, "Radical party, one in front!" PEEL party, two in the back row!" Whig party, one at the back and two on the second!" might be convenient if the Members would come to an understanding that if a handkerchief or glove is left on a seat, no one else should attempt to occupy it, or perhaps if members would leave copies of their own speeches in the places they have left, there would be a still greater probability that everybody would get as far away from the place as possible.

Backs Fitted to their Burden.

WE find by one of the answers given to the Committee of Inquiry into the state of the Army before Sebastopol that "panniers were sent out in great abundance to the Crimea." We trust that these panniers were properly distributed, and that every Head of every Department was allowed a pair to himself of these most appropriate appendages.

Since the Roi d'Yvetot mounted a throne, there has been no such halcyon promise as the accession of VICE-KING CARLISLE. Neverthenight or two since, at a very elegant re-union (we suppress names) in less, the wretched littleness of party will reveal itself. For instance, a Dublin, the question arose whether the VICE-KING would visit the people of Ireland with his Lecture on Pope. Whereupon, a distinguished brows and clenching his hand, observed-"The Pope is it? His barrister and illustrious contributor to the "Nation," knitting his Excellency had better leave his Holiness alone in Ireland. We wo'nt stand that from the Saxon, anyhow.'

دو

smothered-the accession of KING CARLISLE to the emerald throne of With the exception of this slight outburst-it was immediately Ireland, has been hailed with affectionate welcome. His Majesty deserves all confidence: for his sceptre will be a feather; and the featherif his Majesty may choose it-plucked from the Bird of Paradise. Should his Majesty have occasion to hold a Bed of Justice, he will, it

ANECDOTE FROM SYDENHAM.

We are, however, glad to find that KING CARLISLE'S good-nature is well understood, hold the same in the Strawberry Beds. does not make him the less forgetful of the State accessories. For instance, he has already appointed all the officers of his household. The Master of the Horse is-LORD OTHO FITZGERALD; and we have no doubt whatever that the animal will do every credit to the horseflesh knowledge of his Lordship. Then, we have the greatest hopes in the durability of the CARLISLE dynasty from the fact that the confidential office of Gentleman of the Bedchamber (combined with Extinguisher-in-Ordinary and Warming-Pan-in- Waiting) is entrusted to the astute experience of-GEORGE BAGOT, ESQ.

Due notice will be given of the public entry. The Latch-key of the City will be presented to his Majesty on his debarkation at QueensTown. He will enter into Dublin, drawn by eight white horses, amid a shower of sugar-plums. White doves will be let loose from all corners, and white lambs will appear in the laps of Erin's beauties thronging the windows.

We understand that the only precautionary measure thought to be necessary to the tranquillity of his Majesty, will be to issue an affectionate address to all the Carmen of Dublin; beseeching them not to drive in a body to Phoenix-Park and insist upon the VICE-KING there and then knighting every mother's soul of them; for in the event of such a demand, his Majesty would feel it impossible, consistent with his public and private character, to refuse them.

A WELL-KNOWN advertiser of a miraculous Ointment, which is stated, by himself, to cure everything, including diseases, hams, and smoky chimneys, recently visited the Crystal Palace. On entering the Pompeian House, the word on the threshold,

SALVE!

met his eye. He instantly sent for the Secretary and offered a handsome sum if his own name could be prefixed, "so that the public might know whose salve to ask for." The Directors are considering the application.

Louis Napoleon in the City.

THE EMPEROR AND EMPRESS OF THE FRENCH are expected to dine with the LORD MAYOR-Who will receive a Grand Cross on the occasion, all the Aldermen being also duly enrolled in the Legion of Honour during the approaching visit. As a delicate compliment to the Imperial guest, GOG and MAGOG will, for that occasion only, be sworn in as special constables.

POUTINE

THE MEMBER FOR NINEVEH DIGS OUT THE BRITISH BULL.

COMMON THINGS FOR HIGH OFFICIALS.

MEDICINES AND HOW NOT TO STOW THEM.

moments the shells would be roasting over the medical bonfire, and they would presently explode, together with the powder-barrels, scattering burning timbers, broken bottles, amalgamated materia medica, and dismembered sailors, over the ocean.

The gross official ignorance of common things, and especially of MONG common medicines, considered, it is wonderful that this catastrophe has not things may be been itself a common thing in the experience of the transport services. enumerated Me

dicines. These
are either drugs,

QUESTIONS THAT DON'T ANSWER.

or mixtures of
drugs, which are
certain sub- THERE seems to be always a certain number of members of Parlia-
stances chiefly ment who are continually asking a variety of questions which have no
vegetable and importance, which seldom get answered, and which are obviously asked
mineral, and a for the mere purpose of giving trouble or annoyance to somebody.
few animal, very
We sometimes endeavour to trace questions of this class to their ulti-
generally em- mate result, and we frequently find that they lead to nothing but a
ployed in curing consumption of time, and occasionally not even to that, for they appear
diseases. They to drop to the ground, like the abandoned offspring of those who are

The other day we observed a notice of a question, which in tracing the Parliamentary Intelligence, we do not find to have been put, according to threat, or if it was put, it seems to have been too insignificant to be recorded, with or without the answer that it has-or has not elicited. The question related to the appointments of four gentlemen to some offices under the Attorney-General some long time ago, but we have no clue to the object of the question, or as to whether it was directed against one or all of the four officials, or against the AttorneyGeneral; or if not why not, or how otherwise?

are common things here, because diseases are common; and the ashamed to own their parentage. demand for drugs and medicines creates the supply in this country, MR. APSLEY PELLATT now and then puts on the paper a notice of where the market is stocked by private enterprise. But though a question which seems to promise no other result than a little petty diseases are very common in the Crimea, medicines are not equally annoyance or trifling embarrassment to somebody or other, who has in so, so little so indeed, that very lately the answer to every appli- some way alarmed the scruples of this very conscientious patriot. cation for any one of those articles was, We haven't got any." This deficiency was not owing to any parsimony on the part of the House of Commons, or to absolute want of foresight on the part of the Government. It was anticipated at the War Office that battles would involve wounds, that wounds would necessitate dressings, that hard service would be attended with sickness, and that sickness would "require medicines. But, owing to ignorance of the nature of these common things on the part of certain authorities, very few of the medicines intended for the troops ever reached them, and might as well have been thrown to the dogs, as Macbeth desired his attendant Since the Government were weak enough to be bullied into the to throw physic, which is another name for medicine. The money revocation of an appointment once made, and to sacrifice an individual which they cost was of course thrown away too; and as very many on account of their own fault, as they did in the case of MR. STONOR, drugs are imported from remote countries, they are, though com- they may expect to be frequently called on to turn people out of their mon things, uncommonly expensive: so that the amount of money situations, for every one who holds a place is sure to be the object of which has thus been wasted is immense. the envy and small malignity of hundreds of others by whom the place To gentlemen at the heads of Departments, medicines generally is wanted. The dirty trick happily failed in the case of the Recorder present themselves in bottles of coloured liquid, in boxes containing of Brighton, for LORD PALMERSTON has the sense to know that Judges little pellets called pills, or in small folded papers enveloping powders, and Magistrates cannot in these days be turned in and turned out on of various smells and tastes, for the most part nasty. The bottles, boxes, light grounds; for the independence of the Bench is rather too necessary and papers are labelled with directions for the use of their contents, in to the liberty of the subject to be trifled with, for the gratification of regard to which the consequence of any mistake is sometimes serious. personal spite, or even at the will of the Minister. Those gentlemen have also perhaps seen medicines in course of preparation at druggists' shops, but probably without noticing any of their sensible properties except their odour; therefore the following particulars with respect to the common things in question will no doubt be new to those same gentlemen.

The majority of drugs, (of which, as aforesaid, medicines are made, are soft or brittle substances. None are so hard but that they can be pounded in a mortar, except steel and other metals, very few of which are administered in their metallic state. Most of them are easily crushed and broken, many are soft, pasty, or greasy substances, that yield to the least pressure; and a very large proportion of them are actual fluids, that is to say, substances resembling water in the property of being liable to be spilled and lost. They are kept, to a considerable extent, in glass bottles, the breakage of which is often occasioned by a mere fall; and when a bottle, containing a medicine, breaks, of course the medicine runs out. Hence, also of course, results the waste of the medicine, but this is not always the only result.

SURLY SENTIMENTS.
By a Professed Old Grumbler.

The Literary Fund Dinner.

Among medicines there is one which is called Sulphuric Acid; better known, as a common thing, by the name of Oil of Vitriol. There is SOME difficulty has been encountered in the selection of a fitting another named Nitric Acid, or Aqua Fortis. Both these acids are chairman for the approaching solemn festival. The high place was highly corrosive, and destroy most things which they come into con- offered to a very distinguished special pleader, illustrious by his force tact with. Not only that, but they actually set some substances on of eloquence and gravity of visage. He, however, declined the honour fire. One of these substances is Oil of Turpentine; which is likewise as, under the circumstances, a little too perilous. At length, however, a medicine. Sulphuric and Nitric Acids are kept in glass vessels: the BISHOP OF OXFORD has been prevailed upon to preside. Is not they would eat through any other. Therefore in freighting a ship with this pleasing fact an evidence, on the part of the Committee, of a medical and ordnance stores, if the poverty of transport were so ex- desire to cast oil upon the troubled waters? treme and utter as to necessitate so ill-assorted a cargo, it would be unadvisable to stow the shot and shells and medicines together, putting the former on the top of the latter. For, in the event of the ship's pitching much, as in a storm, not only might it be expected that the Two militia officers, billeted at a public house, refused to sleep in a cannon balls and the bombs would pound up the drugs and medicines, double-bedded room. These warriors evidently have no thoughts of one with another, in a premature and promiscuous manner, but also active service: otherwise they should make up their minds to the that they might break, amongst other things, the acid and oil of chance of sleeping, not in double beds, but in a single bed, and not turpentine bottles already mentioned, the contents of which, escaping sleeping there in twos but in two hundreds. May we be so coarse as and mingling together, would immediately ignite, and run about blazing to suggest the bed of glory? A bed, none of the softest, and tucked up in all directions. Among the commonest of common things in medical with a spade.

stores are gums, oils, ointments, spirits, and ether, which are highly

The Militia in Bed.

combustible. The two last articles being particularly inflammable, "FRENCH WITHOUT A MASTER."-This is promised to Paris on the would instantly catch fire, and set the others burning. In a few 16th inst.