Love Is Never Enough: How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstanding“Overflowing with insights, advice and exercises which add up to the solutions that may save a failing marriage or make a good relationship better.” —Dennis Wholey, author of The Courage to Change With eloquence and accessibility, world-renowned psychiatrist Dr. Aaron T. Beck—widely hailed as the "father of cognitive behavioral therapy"—analyzes the actual dialogue of troubled couples to illuminate the most common problems in marriage: the power of negative thinking, disillusionment, rigid rules and expectations, and miscommunication. |
Contents
8 | |
THE LIGHT AND THE DARKNESS | 35 |
BREAKING THE RULES | 69 |
Setting Expectations Making the RulesApplying the Rules | 87 |
Indirectness and Ambiguity Defensiveness Missing the Message | 107 |
BREAKDOWN OF | 114 |
Secret Doubts Origin of Doubts about Self and Spouse The Secret | 149 |
How Symbolic Meanings Twist Our ThinkingThe Spreading Fac | 167 |
Loving and Being Loved Keeping Track of Positive BehaviorLift | 248 |
CHANGING YOUR | 254 |
THE ART OF CONVERSATION | 274 |
Pinpointing Problems in Communication Rules of Conversational | 281 |
THE ART OF WORKING | 293 |
TROUBLESHOOTING | 313 |
Clarification of Differences Understanding Your Mates Perspec | 320 |
SPECIAL PROBLEMS | 357 |
IMPROVE? | 195 |
REINFORCING THE FOUNDATIONS | 217 |
TUNING UP THE RELATIONSHIP | 235 |
NOTES | 387 |
INDEX | 401 |
Common terms and phrases
able actions Albert Ellis anger angry asked attack attitudes automatic thoughts become behavior believe cerned Chapter Cliff cognitive distortions cognitive therapy complaints conflict conversation critical differences discuss distressed marriages emotional event example expectations experience express fear feel felt fight Frances Fred frustration Gary give hostility hurt husband husbands and wives infatuation instance interpretation intimate relationships Judy lems listening marital Marjorie married Married Couples mate mate's mind reading misinterpretations misunderstandings mother motives negative never other's overgeneralization pain parents partner Pepper Schwartz person perspective positive problems question rational responses react reaction realize recognize relationship riences rules Sally self-serving bias sense sensitive sexual Shelly simply situation solving specific spouse spouse's style Sybil symbolic meaning talk techniques Ted's tell things thinking threat tions tunnel vision understanding upset Wendy wife wives women wrong