I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression

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Simon and Schuster, Mar 11, 1999 - Self-Help - 384 pages
A revolutionary and hopeful look at depression as a silent epidemic in men that manifests as workaholism, alcoholism, rage, difficulty with intimacy, and abusive behavior by the cofounder of Harvard’s Gender Research Project.

Twenty years of experience treating men and their families has convinced psychotherapist Terrence Real that depression is a silent epidemic in men—that men hide their condition from family, friends, and themselves to avoid the stigma of depression’s “un-manliness.” Problems that we think of as typically male—difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behavior, and rage—are really attempts to escape depression. And these escape attempts only hurt the people men love and pass their condition on to their children.

This groundbreaking book is the “pathway out of darkness” that these men and their families seek. Real reveals how men can unearth their pain, heal themselves, restore relationships, and break the legacy of abuse. He mixes penetrating analysis with compelling tales of his patients and even his own experiences with depression as the son of a violent, depressed father and the father of two young sons.

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LibraryThing Review

User Review  - GlennBell - www.librarything.com

I found the author to be insightful and helpful. I related to some of the childhood experiences. Reading this made me remember some of the pain in my past. I recommend this book freely to anyone interested in improving their relationships and demeanor. Read full review

LibraryThing Review

User Review  - willszal - LibraryThing

Most men are depressed. Many of them don't even know it. Sexism and the Patrix are part of the problem. Talk about stuff! Tell your stories! Don't keep it in. Don't hide emotion. Way back in July or ... Read full review


Mens Hidden Depression
SelfEsteem Shame and Depression
Covert Depression and Addiction
Trauma and Biology
Perpetrating Masculinity
The Loss of the Relational
Collateral Damage
Two Inner Children
Healing the Legacy
Healing Ourselves
Healing Our Relationships
Where We Stand

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About the author (1999)

Terrence Real is a psychotherapist in private practice. He has taught couples and family therapy, principally at the Family Institute of Cambridge, for twenty years. He lives with his wife and two sons in Newton, Massachusetts.

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