First Comes Love

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Bloomsbury Publishing PLC, Jul 8, 2021 - Marriage - 288 pages
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It was one thing to get married when your parents, your neighbours, your community insisted on it, when a sacred union for heterosexuals was not just one option but the only option. It's quite another to keep doing it in when free of that societal and religious pressure. What is the allure of an institution grounded in patriarchy, in elitism, in white supremacy in the West, an institution that invalidated all but one kind of love till quite recently? Why do so many of us fight against these social ills while also posting pictures of proposals on Instagram? Is it possible to be married while subverting the institution by doing it one's own way, or is marriage having the last laugh after all? Tom Rasmussen comes from a Northern, working class family, for whom marriage in the centrepiece of life. They are also a male-bodied, non-binary queer person in a relationship with a man. Journeying through wildly different weddings, visits to wedding planners, interviews with the much-married, those who have questioned their decision to marry, and those who would never consider matrimony, this is an incisive, witty and moving look at marriage - as an achievement, a compromise, a selling-out, a practical solution. Tom Rasmussen examines what marriage means across the spectrum of sexuality and class, and what the future looks like for this most historic and universal of institutions.

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About the author (2021)

Tom Rasmussen is a Northerner based in London. When out of drag, they are contributing editor at Dazed Beauty, LOVE Magazine and Refinery29, and a regular contributor to the Independent and i-D. Their work has also been featured in Vice, Broadly, Tank and the Gay Times. In 2018 they were named an LGBT trailblazer by The Dots and one of the voices of now for i-D. Tom also forms half of the radical queer punk band ACM. Their first book, Diary of a Drag Queen, was longlisted for the Polari First Book Prize 2020. They live in London. @tomglitter

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