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Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies

Front Cover
23 Reviews
HarperCollins, May 15, 2012 - Fiction - 240 pages

In a world where ZOMBIES control banks and governments, only one young man sees the way things are and emerges from the CHAOS and destruction: GUY BOY MAN. While he tries to end human suffering worldwide and in his high school, Guy Boy Man meets a cute PINK-HAIRED girl named BABY DOLL15 who has a UNICORN that follows her everywhere. An EPIC ROMANCE begins, but forces BEYOND THEIR CONTROL are intent on keeping the young couple apart. One of those FORCES may—or may not be!—Guy Boy Man’s closest friend, a handsome African-American NINJA named SWEETIE HONEY; another could be four EXOTICALLY BEAUTIFUL, genetically engineered and behaviourally modified EASTERN EUROPEAN girls; yet another, the principal of their HIGH SCHOOLá.á.á. not to mention an impending standardized test known as the ZOMBIE ACCEPTANCE TEST! Will Guy Boy Man find a way to be with Baby Doll15 in a WORLD WHERE EVERYONE IS DOOMED to become either zombies or zombie food??!!

Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies is part Napoleon Dynamite, part The Matrix, and ALL AWESOME. It’s the first book in the How To End Human Suffering series.

  

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Review: Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies (How To End Human Suffering #1)

User Review  - Justin Cooper - Goodreads

I am so torn on this book. I hate reading a book where I feel like I am not in on the joke. It is the beginning of a series, so I am somewhat masochistically drawn to reading the next book. . . Read full review

Review: Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies (How To End Human Suffering #1)

User Review  - Dan Christy - Goodreads

I'll admit I read the whole book, but only because I had read too far and was hoping that it would somehow redeem itself by the end. Didn't happen. If you really, really liked John Dies at End you may enjoy this book. Otherwise I'd say that there's better books out there. Read full review

All 17 reviews »

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Contents

Whats Past is Not Nor Will It Ever Be
Aside From Her Big Breasts Pale Blue Lips ChildBearing Hips BabyPowderWhite Skin CottonCandyPinkHair And The Unicorn That Follows Her Ev...
Enter Sweetie Honey Not Literally Okay Literally But Not Like That
She Has A TonguePiercing But That Doesnt Mean Anything
Im Really Wasted Right Now
Theres A Table On A Hill In The Cemetery
The Living And The Dead
When You Get Attacked By A Pack Of Ravenous Wolves At Least Youve Got A Chance
Watching Them Make Out Makes Me Want To Puke Copious Amounts Of Puke
Plants Are Animals Too
Ninjas Cant Be Nice All The Time
How Have You Whores Failed Me?
I Believe Ninjas Are Beneath Me
FarmRaised People
The Ninja Agency
I Dont Need An Appointment Because Im A Ninja

Hurting People Is Hilarious
The Ultimate Symbol Of Your Wealth Power And Your Love Of Jesus
Nobody Can Ever Get Me
Satin Silk And Lace
ZOMBIE VERSUS FAIRY FEATURING ALBINOS
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Copyright

Other editions - View all

Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies
Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies
James Marshall
No preview available - 2012

Common terms and phrases

aircraft carrier Anyway arms asks Baby Doll15 awesome beautiful Eastern European believe Big Max bomb disposal bulldozer castle ceremonial robe cigarette cock fighting dark dead demons didn’t doesn’t door Eastern European girls end human suffering everything exotically beautiful Eastern eyes face feel four exotically beautiful front going Guy Boy hair hallway hand happens he’s head holding Hot Pocket hot young female hot young girls I’m a I’ve isn’t it’d Jesus kids kill legs locker look Mike Hawk never ninja detective Oana okay parents pirate Pope’s pretty Principal pull raven sawed-off shotgun says Baby Doll15 says Sweetie Scare City High She’s shoot shoulders side stand staring stop Sweetie Honey Sweetie’s tell There’s they’re thing troubled zombie teens trying turn unicorn vegetarians wait walk we’re wearing What’s whiskey Yeah York Hunt you’re young female followers zombie teacher

About the author (2012)

James Marshall’s short fiction has appeared in numerous Canadian literary magazines: PRISM International, The Malahat Review, Exile, The Literary Quarterly, and Prairie Fire. One of his stories was nominated for the National Magazine Award for fiction, the M&S Journey Prize, and it was a finalist in the 22nd Annual Western Magazine Awards, 2004. A collection of his short stories, Let’s Not Let a Little Thing Like the End of the World Come Between Us, was published by Thistledown Press in 2004, and it was shortlisted for both the 2005 Commonwealth Writers’ Prize (Caribbean and Canada Region) in the ‘Best First Book’ category, and the ReLit Award for short fiction. His first novel in the How To End Human Suffering series, Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies, was released last year. James lives and writes in BC.

Bibliographic information

QR code for Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies
TitleNinja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies
How to End Human Suffering
AuthorJames Marshall
PublisherHarperCollins, 2012
ISBN1927469082, 9781927469088
Length240 pages
Subjects › 

Fiction / Horror
  
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