Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies

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HarperCollins, May 15, 2012 - Fiction - 240 pages
30 Reviews

In a world where ZOMBIES control banks and governments, only one young man sees the way things are and emerges from the CHAOS and destruction: GUY BOY MAN. While he tries to end human suffering worldwide and in his high school, Guy Boy Man meets a cute PINK-HAIRED girl named BABY DOLL15 who has a UNICORN that follows her everywhere. An EPIC ROMANCE begins, but forces BEYOND THEIR CONTROL are intent on keeping the young couple apart. One of those FORCES may—or may not be!—Guy Boy Man’s closest friend, a handsome African-American NINJA named SWEETIE HONEY; another could be four EXOTICALLY BEAUTIFUL, genetically engineered and behaviourally modified EASTERN EUROPEAN girls; yet another, the principal of their HIGH SCHOOL . . . not to mention an impending standardized test known as the ZOMBIE ACCEPTANCE TEST! Will Guy Boy Man find a way to be with Baby Doll15 in a WORLD WHERE EVERYONE IS DOOMED to become either zombies or zombie food??!!

Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies is part Napoleon Dynamite, part The Matrix, and ALL AWESOME. It’s the first book in the How To End Human Suffering series.

  

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Review: Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies (How To End Human Suffering #1)

User Review  - Geoff Gander - Goodreads

After an initial "WTF" moment, I quickly got into this novel. Guy Boy Man's struggle to define himself as a self-appointed messiah (and pirate) in a world overrun by zombies is something everyone can ... Read full review

Review: Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies (How To End Human Suffering #1)

User Review  - Derek Newman-Stille - Goodreads

In his "Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies", James Marshall tells us something that every one of us who attended public school and high school already know – schools are Hell trying to make zombies ... Read full review

Contents

Whats Past is Not Nor Will It Ever Be
Aside From Her Big Breasts Pale Blue Lips ChildBearing Hips BabyPowderWhite Skin CottonCandyPinkHair And The Unicorn That Follows Her Ev...
Enter Sweetie Honey Not Literally Okay Literally But Not Like That
She Has A TonguePiercing But That Doesnt Mean Anything
Im Really Wasted Right Now
Theres A Table On A Hill In The Cemetery
The Living And The Dead
When You Get Attacked By A Pack Of Ravenous Wolves At Least Youve Got A Chance
Watching Them Make Out Makes Me Want To Puke Copious Amounts Of Puke
Plants Are Animals Too
Ninjas Cant Be Nice All The Time
How Have You Whores Failed Me?
I Believe Ninjas Are Beneath Me
FarmRaised People
The Ninja Agency
I Dont Need An Appointment Because Im A Ninja

Hurting People Is Hilarious
The Ultimate Symbol Of Your Wealth Power And Your Love Of Jesus
Nobody Can Ever Get Me
Satin Silk And Lace
ZOMBIE VERSUS FAIRY FEATURING ALBINOS
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Copyright

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About the author (2012)

James Marshall’s short fiction has appeared in numerous Canadian literary magazines: PRISM International, The Malahat Review, Exile, The Literary Quarterly, and Prairie Fire. One of his stories was nominated for the National Magazine Award for fiction, the M&S Journey Prize, and it was a finalist in the 22nd Annual Western Magazine Awards, 2004. A collection of his short stories, Let’s Not Let a Little Thing Like the End of the World Come Between Us, was published by Thistledown Press in 2004, and it was shortlisted for both the 2005 Commonwealth Writers’ Prize (Caribbean and Canada Region) in the ‘Best First Book’ category, and the ReLit Award for short fiction. His first novel in the How To End Human Suffering series, Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies, was released last year. James lives and writes in BC.

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