All the Presidents' Pets: The Story of One Reporter Who Refused to Roll Over

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Crown, Oct 5, 2004 - Humor - 256 pages
All the Presidents’ Men meets Charlotte’s Web in an explosive political exposé that blows the lid off a long-held secret in Washington: The Presidents’ pets are more than just furry photo ops.

How much does the public really know about the role of the President?

Does the White House Press Corps really understand it?

Does the President himself have a clue?

All the Presidents’ Pets is the long-awaited, spine-tingling, muckraking blockbuster from political and pop culture commentator Mo Rocca—a tour de force of investigative reporting that for the first time tells the true story of who really runs America.

From George Washington’s donkey, Royal Gift, and Rutherford B. Hayes’s Siamese cat, Miss Pussy, to Lincoln’s goats, Nanny and Nanko, and John Kennedy’s Welsh terrier, Charlie, each has left an indelible mark on the White House. (In fact, Eisenhower’s Weimaraner, Heidi, did leave a terrible stain on the Diplomatic Reception Room carpet. She was promptly exiled to Ike’s Gettysburg farm.) In All the Presidents’ Pets, Rocca lays bare the true stories of our nation’s First Pets and sheds light on the origins and evolution of presidential power.

Rocca plumbs rare sources, with the assistance of veteran White House correspondent Helen Thomas (the Stefanie Powers to his Robert Wagner), for the poop—er, scoop—on what really goes on in the West Wing. Once Helen reveals her deepest, darkest secret, the story turns dangerous. Filled with revelations and news breaks—and an unforgettable cast, including Wolf Blitzer, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, and a terrifying albino named Gephardt (no relation)—this is yet another story that the complacent Washington press corps missed.

Forget Paul O’Neill. Richard Clarke? Who’s that? All the Presidents’ Pets is the groundbreaking political book that Bob Woodward could have written had he just spent a little less time with the President and a little more time with Barney.

“Some will consider this satire. Mo Rocca describes how U.S. political policy has been guided by presidential pets for more than two hundred years. Oh, and I suppose you have a better explanation?” —P. J. O’Rourke

All the Presidents’ Pets is a deeply probing, thoroughly engaging account about how the media has uniformly overlooked the White House pet phenomenon to the detriment of our national memory. Thanks to Mo Rocca, no serious political commentator can properly analyze the Bush Administration without taking into consideration ‘The Barney Factor.’ And, for good measure, he has broken the story of Helen Thomas’s lair, a cosmic revelation that will force historians to reinterpret presidencies dating as far back as James Garfield’s tenure.”—Douglas Brinkley, Professor of History and Director of the Eisenhower Center for American Studies, University of New Orleans

“A freaky, phantasmagoric trip through the secret history of presidential pets.”—Robert Siegel, former editor in chief of The Onion
 

Selected pages

Contents

TITLE PAGE DEDICATION WHITE HOUSE PRESS BRIEFING APRIL 1
PROLOGUE
Strangeness on a Train
Some Background on How I Became Jim Traficants Bitch
Theres Something About Harry and All Our Other Presidents
Stepping in DhueDhue
The Karate
Fast Times at White House High
The Lair Down There
How the Pupniks Saved Civilization
The Alien and Sedition Acts or How I Went to the Outback Steakhouse with Coulter Crowley Hannity and Colmes and Almost Lost My Mind
Federalist Smackdown
Thai Me Up Thai Me Down
The Fox and the Pussy
Helen Thomas Underneath It
Copyright

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About the author (2004)

Mo Rocca is a former correspondent for The Daily Show and appears frequently on NBC’s Today, NPR’s Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me, CNN, VH1, and the Fox News Channel. He lives in New York City.

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